ds_0049_vallifindingmyself_cap_01.mp4

ds_0049_vallifindingmyself_cap_01.mp4

Finding myself as a Deaf adult

Valli, Clayton

Valli, Clayton

Deaf Biography

Deaf Education

Deaf culture

Poetry Authorship

American Sign Language literature

Deaf Poetry

ASL poetry

Clayton Valli is introduced as an instructor in the Department of Linguistics and Interpreting at Gallaudet. He is pursuing Ph.D studies at the Union Institute. The topic of the presentation is about influences on his life and he describes his family background, going to Deaf schools, further education, various employment, using and teaching ASL, developing a stronger identity, and how he discovered poetry.

National Technical Institute for the Deaf

Rochester Institute of Technology - RIT Libraries - RIT Archive Collections

1991

2018

moving image

mp4

VHS

58 minutes

American Sign Language

English

RITDSA.0049

Sculptures in the Air: An Accessible Online Video Repository of the American Sign Language (ASL) Poetry and Literature Collections

ASL Lecture Series DVDs

2018-2019 CLIR Grant-ASL Poetry and Literature

https://albert.rit.…

https://archivesspa…

New York - Rochester

Henrietta Campus

RIT Libraries makes materials from its collections available for educational and research purposes pursuant to U.S. Copyright Law. You are free to use this Item in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. It is your responsibility to obtain permission from the copyright holder to publish or reproduce images in print or electronic form.

CC BY-NC-ND: Attribution NonCommercial NoDerivatives 4.0 International

OUR GUEST SPEAKER IS NAMED
CLAYTON VALLI.


THIS IS HIS NAME SIGN,


BUT I AM ACCUSTOMED TO USING
THIS NAME SIGN.


WE ENTERED NTID TOGETHER
THE SAME SVP


IN 1971,


AND WE HAD ANOTHER NAME SIGN
FOR HIM AT THAT TIME.


THIS NAME SIGN WAS GIVEN TO HIM
BECAUSE HE HAD LONG HAIR,


WORE JEANS WITH PATCHES
ON THEM.


HE WAS A BEATNIK.


SO WE WOULD CALL HIM
BY THIS NAME SIGN.


YEARS AND YEARS LATER WHEN HE
WENT TO GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY


AND BECAME INVOLVED IN POETRY--


THIS IS THE SIGN FOR POETRY--


HE BECAME KNOWN BY THIS
NAME SIGN.


THE OTHER NIGHT HE TOLD ME
ABOUT THAT.


AND IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS
SUCH A STRONGER SMOKER,


AND THAT'S WHY HE GOT
THIS NAME SIGN.


HE'S QUIT SMOKING.


SO HE MOVED THE NAME SIGN
OVER TO THE SIDE


INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL
SMOKING GESTURE.


ANYWAY.


I'LL EXPLAIN ABOUT HIS
BACKGROUND A LITTLE BIT--


WHERE HE GRADUATED,
WHICH COLLEGES HE ATTENDED.


AND RIGHT NOW HE IS WORKING
AT GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY


IN THE DEPARTMENT OF LINGUISTICS
AND INTERPRETING.


HE'S A FULL-TIME INSTRUCTOR
THERE,


AT THE SAME TIME IS STUDYING
FOR HIS PhD...


AT A COLLEGE IN CINCINNATI


THAT IS NAMED UNION INSTITUTE
IN CINCINNATI, OHIO.


NOW I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE
CLAYTON VALLI.


[APPLAUSE]


THANK YOU. THANK YOU
FOR EVERYTHING.


FOR TODAY'S PRESENTATION,


I FEEL A LITTLE BIT
OUT OF MY ELEMENT.


I TYPICALLY WRITE VERY
ELABORATE TALKS


ABOUT CULTURE OR POETRY
OR LINGUISTICS,


AND THEY'RE OFTEN VERY
SCIENTIFIC AND VERY INVOLVED


AND COMPLICATED.


BUT TODAY WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT THIS AT ALL.


I'M TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.


OHH, MY GOODNESS.


I REALLY LIKE THIS.


THIS IS A VERY DIFFERENT
EXPERIENCE FOR ME.


AND WHY NOT?


SO I WROTE DOWN A NUMBER
OF NOTES


ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED
TO ME AS I'VE GROWN UP.


AND I TITLED THIS "FINDING
MYSELF AS A DEAF ADULT."


AS A KID, YOU KNOW, I WAS
EXPOSED TO SO MUCH


AND SURROUNDED AS IF IN
A COCOON.


I DIDN'T REALLY SEE
WHO I WAS.


SO FINALLY I RID MYSELF
OF THE TRAPPINGS,


AND I HAVE TO ADMIT I FOUND
SOME SILK IS LEFT.


BUT AT ANY RATE,


LET'S REWIND THE TAPE
QUITE A WAYS.


I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU
HOW LONG,


BUT I WAS BORN DEAF.


MY PARENTS ARE HEARING.


AND MY BROTHER CAME ALONG
A YEAR LATER,


AND WE'RE BOTH DEAF.


WE ALSO FOUND THAT
MY MOTHER'S SISTER


HAD A DEAF COUSIN.


MY MOTHER'S SISTER HAD
A CHILD WHO WAS DEAF.


AND WE CONSIDERED HIM A BROTHER.


THE 3 OF US REALLY
GREW UP TOGETHER.


FROM THE TIME I WAS BORN
UNTIL I WAS 3,


I REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH
OF ANY MEMORIES AT ALL.


I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WAS
GOING ON.


I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.


BUT AT THE AGE OF 3,


I WENT INTO A TYPE OF SCHOOL.


IT WAS CALLED THE BEVERLY SCHOOL
FOR THE DEAF


IN MASSACHUSETTS,


IN BEVERLY, MASSACHUSETTS.


MY MOTHER BROUGHT ME
TO THE SCHOOL


SO THAT I COULD LEARN HOW TO
USE MY SPEECH AND LIPREADING


AND HOW I COULD COMMUNICATE
WITH MY PARENTS.


AND THAT WAS THE TYPE OF
PROGRAM THAT IT WAS.


I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH
ABOUT IT,


BUT SHE'S FILLED ME IN
ON THE DETAILS


AS I'VE GOTTEN OLDER.


AT THE AGE OF 4, SHE PUT ME IN
THE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF--


THE AUSTINE SCHOOL FOR
THE DEAF


IN BRATTLEBORO, VERMONT.


AT THAT TIME, THERE WAS NO
SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF


IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
AND THAT'S WHERE WE LIVED.


MY PARENTS WERE VERY
DISAPPOINTED


THAT THEY HAVE TO PUT ME
WAY OVER IN VERMONT.


IT WAS QUITE A DISTANCE.


BUT MY FATHER MADE
THE DETERMINATION


AND MY MOTHER, NO MATTER
HOW SHE COMPLAINED AND STRUGGLED


AND DENIED IT,
THAT'S WHERE I WENT.


I REALLY AM VERY GRATEFUL
TO MY FATHER


FOR TAKING THAT STRONG STAND


BECAUSE SO MANY THINGS
INFLUENCED ME


WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL THERE.


I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LITTLE
JUST ARRIVING


AT THE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF


AND MY FIRST EXPERIENCES.


I REMEMBER SOME OF MY FIRST
TEACHERS.


THEY OFTEN WROTE ON THE BOARD.


THEY WOULD WRITE A SENTENCE
LIKE,


"IT IS" AND THEN PUT
A SPACE


AND THEN A PERIOD.


OR THEY'D WRITE, "BOB HAS
A NEW" SPACE, PERIOD.


OH, YOU GET THE IDEA.


THAT KIND OF SIMPLE SENTENCE.


THEN I'D LOOK AT THOSE,


AND THEN I'D SHOUT OUT,
"NOW IS WEDNESDAY,


SO IT IS WEDNESDAY."


AND SHE WOULD SAY,
"YES, VERY GOOD."


NO MATTER WHAT THE TYPE OF
WEATHER,


WE ALWAYS WENT OUTSIDE,


SO I COULD ALWAYS FEEL LIKE
IT IS SUNNY


OR LIKE WHAT IS NEW


OR LIKE--SO I COPIED A LOT
OF LANGUAGE.


AND THAT'S REALLY
ALL I REMEMBER.


I DON'T REMEMBER REALLY
LEARNING IT.


I WOULD COPY IT.


I DID SEND LETTERS HOME
ON A WEEKLY BASIS, THOUGH,


AND THIS WOULD BE SOME OF THE
STUFF I'D LEARN IN SCHOOL.


DESPITE THAT,


I REALLY HAD NOT A VERY GOOD
RAPPORT WITH MY TEACHERS.


I WAS IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME,


AND MY TEACHERS WERE SICK
OF ME IN SHORT ORDER.


I WAS ALWAYS CAUSING TROUBLE
AND DOING SOMETHING


AND FOUND MYSELF IN DETENTION
MORE TIMES THAN I CAN TELL YOU.


THEY'D SEND ME TO
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE,


AND I'D GET SERIOUS LECTURES
ON A REGULAR BASIS.


ONE TIME I'LL NEVER FORGET,


THE TEACHER TOOK ME OUT TO
THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE,


AND HE WAS FINALLY FED UP
WITH ME.


AND HE PUT ME IN THE BASEMENT


WHERE IT WAS DARK.


AND I'LL TELL YOU, THAT'S
AN EXPERIENCE I'LL NEVER FORGET.


AND FROM THAT POINT ON,


I GOT MUCH WORSE.


I WAS A REAL MESS


FROM THAT MOMENT ON,


EMOTIONALLY
AND EVERY OTHER WAY.


WITH TEACHERS AND WITH FRIENDS
AND WITH STUDENTS,


I WAS CAUSING TROUBLE
IN ALL ARENAS EVERYWHERE.


AND I'LL EXPLAIN A LITTLE BIT
MORE ABOUT THAT LATER,


ABOUT WHAT MY BEHAVIOR WAS
REALLY INDICATING


AT THAT TIME.


SO DURING THE TIME THAT I WAS IN
AUSTINE SCHOOL,


FINALLY NEW HAMPSHIRE DECIDED


TO ESTABLISH A SCHOOL
FOR THE DEAF.


AND SO MY MOTHER WAS THRILLED


BECAUSE THERE I COULD COMMUTE
BACK AND FORTH TO HOME,


BUT IN AUSTINE SCHOOL,
I REALLY HAD TO STAY


AND I COULDN'T COME HOME
ON THE WEEKENDS.


I ONLY GOT HOME AT CHRISTMAS.


SO MY FAMILY MADE
THE DETERMINATION


THAT I'D BE MOVED
TO NEW HAMPSHIRE


AND I COULD COME HOME
REGULARLY.


NOW, THE NEW HAMPSHIRE SCHOOL
WAS AN ORAL SCHOOL.


HMM.


NOW, VERMONT USED
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE,


AND WITH MY DEAF FRIENDS I
COMMUNICATED EASILY.


AND THAT WAS THE NORMAL WORLD
TO ME.


OF COURSE I CAUSED TROUBLE,
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE,


BUT IT WAS STILL
A NORMAL WORLD.


WHEN I GOT INTO NEW HAMPSHIRE,


THIS WAS ALL I SAW,
YOU KNOW.


AS SOON AS I USED
SIGN LANGUAGE,


I WAS IMMEDIATELY THE FOCUS
OF ATTENTION.


I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT
WHAT WAS GOING ON


IN THE CLASSROOM.


I WENT AND SAT DOWN
AND I GOT A NEW TEACHER.


YOU KNOW, IT WAS A NEW TEACHER
AND A NEW STUDENT ALIKE.


SO SHE LOOKED AT US
AND, YOU KNOW,


USED HER BEST LIP READING
SKILLS.


AND I RAISED MY HAND AND SAID,
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU."


AND I JUST KEPT SAYING,
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU."


AND I STARTED TO REALLY DO
A SLOW BURN,


AND EVENTUALLY THAT TURNED IN
A FULL-FLEDGED TANTRUM.


I HAD NEVER DONE ANYTHING
LIKE THAT BEFORE,


BUT I PUSHED THE TABLES OVER,


AND I JUMPED ON TOP OF
THE TABLES,


AND THE TEACHER FREAKED OUT,
CAME OVER AND GRABBED ME,


AND THREW ME OUT IN THE HALL,


AND THEN STARTED SIGNING
AT ME.


AND I LOOKED AT THEM
AND I SAID,


"YOU KNOW SIGN LANGUAGE?"


AND THEY SAID, "SHH. THIS IS
A SECRET BETWEEN YOU AND ME.


"IN CLASS, YOU KNOW,
THIS IS A NORMAL SCHOOL.


"WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES,


"BUT ONE ON ONE, YOU AND I
CAN SIGN TO EACH OTHER,


BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT
A SECRET.


AHH, PBBLT.


AS SOON AS I KNEW THAT,


SHE HAD MY FULL TRUST.


UNTIL THAT POINT, I HAD NEVER
TRUSTED AN INSTRUCTOR,


BUT NOW FINALLY I FOUND ONE


THAT I FELT THAT I COULD
REALLY DEAL WITH.


AND AFTER THAT, I WOULD ASK
THE TEACHER QUESTIONS,


AND I BECAME A RADICALLY
DIFFERENT STUDENT,


AND MY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS
DWINDLED TO A MINIMUM.


I FELT THAT THE OTHER TEACHERS


BEFORE HER WERE LOUSY.


YOU KNOW, FOR EXAMPLE,
WITH THE SOCIAL STUDIES BOOK,


WE WOULD LOOK AT MAPS


AND PLANTS, YOU KNOW,
THE SCIENCE BOOKS.


YOU KNOW ALL THE OTHER
TEACHERS.


WELL, WE WOULD SIT IN CLASS
WITH THE HEADPHONES ON


AND THE TEACHER WOULD
OPEN HER BOOK


AND START READING ALL OF
THIS STUFF


AND FIX HER BRA STRAP
AS SHE WAS READING.


AND I WOULD JUST SIT THERE
AND STUDY HER.


YOU KNOW, THE TEACHER'S
CLOTHING.


SHE HAD OLD-FASHIONED CLOTHES
WITH POLKA DOTS


AND BIG EARRINGS AND MOLES.


AND I CAN TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE
LITTLE, TINY FEATURE


OF THIS TEACHER,
LET ME TELL YOU.


YOU KNOW, AND I'D
JUST SIT THERE


AND COULDN'T WAIT FOR CLASS
TO BE OVER


SO I COULD GET OUT OF THERE.


SO...


EVERY DAY WAS THE SAME
KIND OF EXPERIENCE.


SHE'D READ THE BOOK AND WE'D
HAVE ON THE HEADPHONES.


YOU KNOW,


THE OTHER TEACHERS DIDN'T KNOW
MUCH OF ANYTHING


ABOUT SIGN.


THEY WOULD BE VERY LAX,


AND THEY'D BE--


YOU KNOW, I WOULD GET ENTIRELY
OUT OF CONTROL


AND BECOME THE CLASS CLOWN


AND, YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF
THAT HAPPENS,


BUT THAT ONE TEACHER


REALLY EARNED MY RESPECT


AND REALLY INFLUENCED MY LIFE
FROM THEN ON.


ANOTHER CLASS HELPED ME
BECOME A LINGUIST.


I IMAGINE AT THE AGE OF
12 AND 13,


I WAS ALREADY A LINGUIST.


LET ME EXPLAIN THIS.


YOU KNOW, OF COURSE I HAD
SPEECH READING


AND INSTRUCTIONAL ALL THE TIME
GROWING UP,


BUT AT THIS AGE, 12 OR 13,


THEY HANDED US OUT NOTEBOOKS


WITH WHITE PAPER IN THEM.


AND WE DIDN'T KNOW AT ALL
WHAT THESE ARE FOR,


BUT THEN THEY SHOWED US
ALL OF THE LETTERS


OF THE ALPHABET.


LET'S START WITH "B."


AND IT SHOWED HOW YOU USE
YOUR VOICE


TO MAKE THAT SOUND.


AND UNTIL THAT POINT,


I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THERE
WAS A DIFFERENCE


BETWEEN A "B" AND A "P,"


LIKE THAT ONE USED A VOICE
AND ONE DIDN'T.


OH, I THOUGHT THAT THIS
WAS FASCINATING.


"B" USED YOUR VOICE
AND "P" DIDN'T.


AND SO WE'D DRAW DIAGRAMS


AND DRAW THE MOUTH,


MAKING ALL OF THESE
LITTLE SHAPES


AND DRAW THE TONGUE
COMING IN AND OUT


OF VARIOUS CONSTRUCTIONS
THAT YOU HAD TO MANIPULATE


YOUR VOICE BOX INTO.


AND THEN I WOULD MAKE "P"
USING THE SAME DRAWING,


BUT I WOULD COLOR IT BLUE


BECAUSE THEN THERE
WAS NO VOICE USED.


SO BLUE MEANT VOICELESS.


AND I WOULD CONSTRUCT
THESE SENTENCES


LIKE, "BOB IS" SOMETHING,


SO IT'S "B," YOU KNOW,
USE THE RED


AND MAKE THIS VERY CLEARLY
VOICE.


AND BOY, I FEEL LIKE I REALLY
BECAME A LINGUIST


FROM A VERY EARLY AGE.


I COULD DEMONSTRATE "A"
THROUGH "Z,"


WHAT EVERYTHING LOOKED LIKE


AND ALSO THE VOWELS WITH
"A," "E," "I," "O," AND "U."


I REALLY REMEMBER WORKING
ON THOSE.


SO I HAD THIS VERY THICK
NOTEBOOK.


AND NOW THAT I'M A LINGUIST,


I REALLY DO THANK HER.


OF COURSE, THAT PARTICULAR
COURSE I HAPPENED TO FAIL,


BUT, OH, WELL.


THE REASON I FAILED
WAS BECAUSE OF 4H.


I WAS A MEMBER OF THE 4H CLUB,


AND AS WERE MANY DEAF STUDENTS
WITHIN OUR SCHOOL.


WE USE TO HAVE WONDERFUL
CONVERSATIONS


AND LEARN HOW TO TIE KNOTS
AND ROPES


AND GO SEE VARIOUS
FARM ANIMALS.


AND I REALLY LOVED 4H.


WELL, AT ONE POINT,


THEY SENT ALL OF US TO
A BIG CONVENTION,


AND I SAID, "OH, OF COURSE
I WANT TO GO."


I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS,


BUT IT GOT US OUT OF SCHOOL,
YOU KNOW,


SO I GOT TO GO TO THIS
CONVENTION.


AND THEY SAID, "NOW, YOU HAVE
TO PRESENT SOMETHING


IN ORDER TO DO THIS."


SO I THOUGHT, OH, PHOTOGRAPHS


WOULD BE A REAL GOOD THING
FOR ME TO DO.


WELL, NOT ACTUALLY PHOTOGRAPHS,


BUT I MADE PICTURES OF LIKE
FROM A CHICKEN'S EYE VIEW,


A BIRD'S EYE VIEW,
OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING.


SO I'D MAKE VARIOUS PICTURES
COMPARING THE WAY WE SEE.


YOU KNOW, AND I WAS ABOUT 13,


AND I WAS SO INCREDIBLY PROUD
OF MY PROJECT.


YOU KNOW, I DID A LOT OF
WORK ON IT.


AND THE TEACHER SAID,
"OH, THIS IS GREAT.


"NOW YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE
PRESENTING THIS


WITH YOUR SPEECH."


I SAID, "TALK?
NO, I CAN'T DO THAT."


SHE SAID, "OH, YEAH, YOU'VE
GOT REALLY GOOD SPEECH SKILLS."


AND AT THAT POINT, I SAID,


"UH-OH, I'M STUCK."


AND I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH THE PROJECT,


AND I REALLY GOT OVERWORKED
ABOUT IT.


AND I SAID, "I REALLY CAN'T
USE MY SPEECH."


WELL, THE TWO OF US STRUGGLED
ON AND ON,


AND I KEPT COMPLAINING
THAT I COULDN'T DO IT.


AND SO,


IT WAS 4 PAGES THAT
SHE WANTED ME TO WRITE OUT.


AND I THOUGHT THAT, YOU KNOW--


WE THOUGHT THAT WE COULD
COPY IT BIG.


SO WHAT I WOULD DO IS I WOULD
WRITE IT OUT ON THE BOARD,


AND THEN FOLLOW ALONG
AND TRY TO WRITE IT THAT WAY.


WELL, I JUST COULDN'T DO IT,


BUT I REALLY FELT TRAPPED IN
THE SITUATION AT THIS POINT.


SO I PRACTICED AND PRACTICED.


3 OR 4 DIFFERENT TEACHERS
LISTENED TO MY VOICE


AND CAME TO HELP ME PRACTICE.


SO IT WAS TIME TO GO
TO THE CONVENTION.


AND, UH, I GOT UP THERE


AND I WAS THE SAME AGE AS
ALL THESE OTHER KIDS,


AND THEY WERE ALL HEARING.


AND AT THAT POINT, YOU KNOW,


WELL, BEFORE THAT,


IT WAS ALL THE LADIES
IN THE LAB


WHO SAID, "OH, HOW GOOD.
YOUR VOICE IS SO NICE."


YOU KNOW, THAT WAS MY ONLY
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE


RELATED TO MY VOICE.


BUT AT THIS POINT,
I REALIZED


THAT ALL OF THESE PEOPLE
WERE 12, 13, 14,


AND THEY WERE THE SAME AGE
AS ME.


AND I GOT UP ON STAGE
AND I PUT UP MY CARDS


AND I PUT MY PICTURES UP FRONT


AND I STARTED TO TRY
TO SAY THIS,


AND THE EXPRESSIONS OF
THE KIDS' FACES WAS TERRIBLE.


THEY WERE LOOKING
AT EACH OTHER


AND SAID, "WHAT IS HE
TALKING ABOUT?"


AND AT THAT POINT,


I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT
THE TEACHERS HAD LIED.


YOU KNOW, AND THEY KEPT
SAYING TO ME,


"NOW LIFT UP YOUR CHIN,"


AND I KEPT TRYING TO TALK,


AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE
IN THE AUDIENCE


LOOKED WORSE AND WORSE,


AND I THINK THAT I WAS SCREAMING
BY THE TIME WE GOT FINISHED.


AND I THINK THE WHOLE
DREADED EXPERIENCE


LAST ABOUT 15 MINUTES,


AND I WAS SICK WHEN I GOT
FINISHED WITH IT.


I GOT OFF THE STAGE
AND PEOPLE JUST LOOKED AT ME


IN A MANNER THAT INDICATED
THAT THEY REALLY DIDN'T KNOW


WHAT TO DO WITH ME.


SO PRETTY SOON AWARDS
WERE UP.


AND I GOT A BLUE RIBBON
FOR FIRST PLACE.


IMAGINE THAT.


NOW I UNDERSTAND THE REASON
THAT I GOT IT,


BUT BACK THEN, I THOUGHT IT
CAN'T BE BECAUSE OF MY SPEECH,


BECAUSE, YOU KNOW--


AND THEN I STARTED
WORKING THROUGH


A LOT OF
DIFFICULT CONCEPTS--


THE FACT THAT I WAS DEAF.


I SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT THEY'D
GIVEN ME THE BLUE RIBBON


BECAUSE THEY FELT SORRY
FOR ME.


AND THAT WAS THE FIRST
EXPERIENCE


THAT REALLY OPENED MY EYES TO
COMMUNICATION ISSUES LIKE THAT.


BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THIS BLUE RIBBON,


SO I JUST TOSSED IT OUT,


AND THEN WENT BACK TO SCHOOL,


AND THE SPEECH TEACHER
STARTED ENCOURAGING ME


TO USE MY VOICE,
AND I JUST WOULDN'T,


AND I HAVEN'T USED MY VOICE
TO THIS DAY.


MY VOICE TURNED OFF RIGHT AT
THAT POINT.


OK, AS I GOT A LITTLE OLDER,


HMM, I FELT THAT I WANTED
TO TEACH.


AND IN THE SUMMERS,


WHEN I WAS HOME,


MY FATHER WOULD FINISH WORK


AND HE'S COME HOME AND SPRAWL
OUT ON THE SOFA,


AND THAT'S ALL THAT I SAW
ALL THE TIME.


NOW, HE WORKED IN A FACTORY


AND HE WAS ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED
WHEN HE FINISHED WORK,


AND I FELT THAT I DIDN'T WANT
TO LOOK LIKE THAT


WHEN I FINISHED WORK
AS I GOT OLDER.


BUT AGAIN, I NEED TO GO BACK
TO THAT ONE TEACHER


WHO REALLY STRONGLY
INFLUENCED ME,


AND THAT WAS REALLY WHERE
I GOT THE IDEA


THAT I WANTED TO BECOME
A TEACHER.


NOW, I GRADUATED FROM
THE SCHOOL


IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,


AND THEN TRANSFERRED BACK
TO THE AUSTINE SCHOOL.


AND LIFE WAS PRETTY MISERABLE.


I CAME BACK AND I SAID,
"HI, I'M YOUR OLD FRIEND,


AND I WAS YOUR FRIEND
WAY BACK THEN."


AND EVERYBODY
DID A DOUBLE TAKE


AND TOOK RIGHT AWAY FROM ME.


I THOUGHT, DID I SAY
SOMETHING WRONG?


AND FOR A WEEK, EVERYONE
AVOIDED ME.


I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY.


AND THEN WE CAME--I HAD TO
TAKE AN ENGLISH TEST--


THIS WAS MANDATORY EVERY FALL--


TO SEE WHETHER OUR SKILLS
HAD IMPROVED


OR GONE DOWN
DURING THE SUMMER.


SO WE FINISH THIS TEST,


AND IT CAME TIME FOR ALL OF US
TO BE ASSIGNED


TO DIFFERENT GROUPINGS.


AND THE TEACHER ANNOUNCED
THAT, YOU KNOW,


"ALL OF YOU CAN MAKE FUN
OF NEW HAMPSHIRE NOW


"BECAUSE YOU VERMONT STUDENTS
ALL DID EXCELLENTLY,


BUT OUR ONE"--


OH. "YOU ALL MAKE FUN
OF NEW HAMPSHIRE,


BUT REALLY, THE STUDENT FROM
NEW HAMPSHIRE DID THE BEST."


AND THEY ANNOUNCED MY NAME,


AND THEY SAID, "NO, THIS IS
IMPOSSIBLE.


WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER,
YOU WERE A REAL PAIN."


AND I SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?"


AND THEY STARTED TELLING ME
SOME OF THE THINGS


THEY REMEMBERED ME DOING.


FOR EXAMPLE,
WHEN I WAS LITTLE,


I USED TO PINCH PEOPLE.


YOU KNOW, MY FRIENDS,


I'D JUST COME UP
AND PINCH THEM,


AND THEY'D GET REALLY UPSET.


I DID THIS ALL THE TIME,


BUT HONEST TO GOD,
I DON'T REMEMBER
EVER DOING THAT.


THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS
EVERYBODY STAYED AWAY FROM ME


WHEN I FIRST GOT BACK,


BUT THEN I SUDDENLY
UNDERSTOOD WHY.


ANOTHER THING THAT THEY TOLD ME
THAT THEY REMEMBERED ABOUT ME


WAS THAT I WAS ALWAYS
MISCHIEVOUS AND IN TROUBLE.


AND THEY RECALLED MANY
INTERESTING EPISODES,


BUT I COULDN'T REMEMBER
ANY OF THOSE THINGS.


AND SUDDENLY I REALIZED
IT WAS BECAUSE EMOTIONALLY


I WAS BLOCKING THAT
PERIOD OF MY LIFE.


AND THAT MEANT I MUST--
AS I LOOK BACK NOW,


I MUST HAVE HAD SOME
REALLY SERIOUS PROBLEMS.


WELL, NOW, OF COURSE,
I'M FINE


AND HERE I AM
UP ON THE STAGE,


BUT THEY REALIZED THAT I HAD
GROWN UP A LOT


WHEN I CAME BACK TO
THE AUSTINE SCHOOL.


AND I REGAINED SOME OF
MY OLD FRIENDS,


AND ACTUALLY, I BECAME
PRESIDENT OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL


AND I WAS INVOLVED IN MANY
KIND OF SPORTS--


BASKETBALL, FOR EXAMPLE.


IN HIGH SCHOOL, LIFE WAS
REALLY WONDERFUL.


IT'S INTERESTING THAT I SCORED
SO HIGHLY IN ENGLISH


BECAUSE IT WAS ALL BASED
ON WRITING.


YOU KNOW, MY WRITING SCORES
WERE WONDERFUL,


BUT MY READING SCORES
WERE MISERABLE.


THEY WERE AT THE OPPOSITE END
OF THE SPECTRUM.


AND SO THE TEACHERS KEPT
ENCOURAGING ME TO READ,


BUT, SEE, I WAS VERY GOOD
MEMORIZING SENTENCES,


WHICH MEANT I COULD WRITE
VERY WELL,


BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THAT
SORT OF NATURAL


EVERYDAY FACILITY WITH
THE LANGUAGE


TO BE ABLE TO USE IT
TO COMMUNICATE.


I FELT THAT THE SENTENCES
WERE JUST


SORT OF JUST VERY CLEARLY
ACCESSIBLE TO ME.


I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR
WITH THE FITZGERALD KEY.


IT WAS A METHOD TO TEACH
READING TO DEAF STUDENTS


A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO,


BUT LIKE THE FIRST WORD
WOULD BE "WHAT,"


THE SECOND WORD WOULD BE
A VERB.


SO IT WAS VERY SIMPLE.


LIKE, ONE WOULD BE A NOUN,
VERB,


AND THEN WE'D HAVE WHY,


AND THEN A PHRASE--
ANOTHER SEGMENT


THAT WOULD BE HOW OFTEN.


AND CERTAIN--LIKE ONE AREA
WOULD BE YELLOW.


AND, YOU KNOW, AS I LOOKED UP,


I WOULD BE ABLE
TO WRITE THINGS


AND BE ABLE TO PUT THEM
TOGETHER


BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL
COLOR CODED.


SO I'D BE ABLE TO MANIPULATE
SENTENCES THAT WAY.


SO WRITING SENTENCES
WAS A SNAP.


AND THE TEACHERS THOUGHT
I COULD--


I UNDERSTOOD WHAT
I WAS DOING,


BUT I WAS JUST USING
THIS KEY.


AND REALLY MY READING WASN'T
ANYWHERE NEAR


THE LEVEL OF MY WRITING SKILLS.


AND SO, A TEACHER FINALLY
WORKED WITH ME LONG ENOUGH


TO BRING UP MY SKILLS
IN READING TO THAT POINT.


ALSO RELATED TO READING,


IF I READ A SENTENCE,
FOR EXAMPLE, "HE WAS DEAD,"


I WOULD SIGN "HE KILLED,"


YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT I THOUGHT,


AND THEN I'D ALWAYS BE WRONG,
AND THEN I'D GET ANGRY.


AND I'D SAY, YOU KNOW,
"HE WAS KILLED."


YOU KNOW, AND THEY--


YOU'D HAVE TO SAY,
"SOMEONE KILLED HIM."


OH, BUT THEN IT TOOK SOMEBODY
WHO WAS DEAF


WHO REALLY UNDERSTOOD ENGLISH
TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME


BECAUSE I WASN'T GETTING IT
FROM THE HEARING TEACHER.


AND ACTUALLY, I LEARNED
ENGLISH THROUGH MY FRIEND


WHO TUTORED ME INSTEAD OF
FROM THE TEACHER DIRECTLY.


OK. NOW I'D LIKE TO TALK
ABOUT THE JUNIOR NAD


EXPERIENCE THAT I HAD.


I WAS CHOSEN TO GO
TO A CONFERENCE IN DC


IN 1970, I THINK.


SO I WENT TO GALLAUDET
AND WAS ON THAT CAMPUS


FOR THE FIRST TIME.


AND AT THAT POINT,
I CERTAINLY DECIDED


I WAS GOING TO GO TO GALLAUDET
CERTAINLY


WHEN I GRADUATED FROM
HIGH SCHOOL.


AND I KNEW SOME FRIENDS
FROM MAINE AND MASSACHUSETTS


AND NEW HAMPSHIRE AND VERMONT


WHO ATTENDED GALLAUDET.


AND I MET ONE FRIEND
FROM MAINE


WHEN I WENT TO VISIT THE CAMPUS,


AND I WAS TALKING TO HIM.


AND HE JUST GAVE ME
A FUNNY LOOK


AND THEN LAUGHED.


I THOUGHT, "GOSH, HE WAS PRETTY
NEAT BEFORE.


NOW ALL THE SUDDEN,
HE'S PRETTY ARROGANT."


AND THEN I THOUGHT, "YOU MEAN
IF I GO TO GALLAUDET,


I'M GONNA BECOME ARROGANT
LIKE THAT?"


I CERTAINLY DIDN'T WANT TO.


AND THEN I SAW SOME OTHER
FRIENDS WHO ARE ALL INCREDIBLY


IMPRESSED WITH THEMSELVES,


AND I THOUGHT GALLAUDET
HAD DONE THIS TO THEM.


SO MY OPINION IMMEDIATELY
CHANGED.


AND THEN I THOUGHT, "WELL,
I'M NOT GONNA GO TO GALLAUDET,


EVEN IF THEY FORCE ME."


THEN I HEARD ABOUT NTID.


I FIGURED, WELL,
NTID's FAIRLY NEW,


THAT PROBLEM CAN'T BE
THERE YET.


SO I FOUND OUT THAT NTID
AND GALLAUDET


BOTH HAD PROBLEMS.


THEY WERE DIFFERENT
FROM EACH OTHER,


BUT THEY BOTH HAD THEM.


SO I ENTERED NTID.


WELL, ACTUALLY, LET ME
GO BACK.


IN HIGH SCHOOL,
AS I TOLD YOU,


I WAS INVOLVED WITH SPORTS


AND I WAS INVOLVED
IN ACTIVITIES.


AND WHEN I ARRIVED AT NTID,


I SUDDENLY BECAME VERY QUIET.


THERE WERE ONLY ABOUT 200
STUDENTS AT NTID AT THAT POINT.


NOW THERE ARE SOMETHING
LIKE A THOUSAND.


OH, 1,300.


AT MY TIME THERE WERE
200 TO 250.


AND I FELT EXTREMELY IN
THE MINORITY.


AND NTID REQUIRED SPEECH
TRAINING AT THAT TIME.


IT WAS REQUIRED.


AND I SAID, "I WENT THROUGH
SPEECH TRAINING


"ALL OF MY LIFE.


I AM NOT GONNA GO TO CLASS."


THIS WAS A ONE-ON-ONE
EXPERIENCE.


BUT I DID GO MEET THE TEACHER,


AND THEY EXPLAINED A LITTLE
BIT ABOUT IT.


AND THEN I LEFT AND WOULDN'T
GO BACK.


THEY CALLED ME AGAIN
AND AGAIN,


AND THEY GAVE ME AN "F"


AND SAID I WOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO GRADUATE,


BUT EVERY LETTER I GOT
WENT INTO THE TRASH.


SO EVENTUALLY I WENT TO
TALK TO A COUNSELOR.


OH, AND THEY SAID, "WELL, WHY
HAVEN'T YOU COME TO SEE ME?


ARE YOU HAVING PROBLEMS?"


AND I REALLY FELT OVERWHELMED.


I THOUGHT THAT EVERYONE
WAS ON MY BACK


AND REALLY BUTTING INTO
MY BUSINESS A LITTLE BIT


MORE THAN I WANTED.


THE SPEECH TEACHER
AND THE COUNSELOR--


I CAN'T REMEMBER.
MAYBE THE TWO OF THEM


GOT TOGETHER TO TRY TO FIGURE
OUT WHAT TO DO WITH ME,


BUT FINALLY THE COUNSELOR
SAID,


"WHY DON'T YOU WRITE DOWN
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT NTID."


I DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE
MY TIME WITH THAT.


AND THEY SAID, "NO, YOU CAN USE
ART TO EXPRESS THIS."


I SAID, "OH, WELL, THAT'S
AN INTERESTING CHALLENGE


TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS ABOUT
NTID THROUGH ART."


LATER, WHEN I WAS EATING LUNCH,


THE SPEECH TEACHER
CAME UP TO ME


AND SAID, "I WANT TO SEE YOU."


AND I WAS REALLY SICK OF THIS.


I FELT LIKE THEY WERE CHASING ME
AT THIS POINT.


BUT I WENT TO MEET WITH HIM.


AND THE SPEECH TEACHER SAID,


"PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO
SEE YOU FAIL.


"I WANT YOU TO GRADUATE.


WHY DON'T YOU JUST WORK
WITH ME?"


AND I HAD THE TYPE OF ATTITUDE


WHERE I JUST TOLD THEM
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF SPEECH,


I'VE HAD ENOUGH
OF LIPREADING ENTIRELY.


WELL, IF YOU JUST--
THEY SAID--


SHE FINALLY SAID, "IF YOU WILL
JUST MAKE A SPEECH SOUND,


I WILL GIVE YOU AN A."


SO I MADE A SOUND AND SHE SAID,
"OK, I'LL GIVE YOU AN A."


I FELT LIKE I'D BRIBED HER.


I FELT TERRIBLE.


AND...


ON THE SURFACE,


I THOUGHT THAT I MIGHT HAVE FELT
REALLY WONDERFUL ABOUT THAT,


BUT REALLY I DIDN'T FEEL VERY
GOOD ABOUT IT AT ALL.


NOW BACK TO THE COUNSELOR.


WHEN I WAS WORKING AT
THIS ART PROJECT,


I DREW A FISH IN A BOWL


WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND
THIS BOWL,


AND THE FISH HAD A HEARING AID.


AND...


I SAID THAT THIS IS HOW
I FEEL.


I FEEL LIKE I'M A FISH BOWL.


YOU WANT ME TO TALK.


YOU WANT ME TO DO THINGS
YOUR WAY.


AND YOU'RE ALL STANDING AROUND
LOOKING AT ME.


I REMEMBER DRAWING THIS.


AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS
PIECE OF ARTWORK WENT.


I HOPE IT'S STILL HERE
SOME PLACE,


BUT I HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE IT WENT.


BUT I DID PRESENT IT
TO THE COUNSELOR.


AS TIME WENT ALONG IN SCHOOL,


I WASN'T INVOLVED A LOT
IN SPORTS.


I GOT A LOT OF GOOD GRADES.


I REALLY HAD NO PROBLEM
STUDYING AT ALL AT NTID.


WHEN I GRADUATED
AND GOT A JOB--


WAIT A MINUTE.
LET ME STEP BACK A BIT.


I WAS ON THE MAJOR PHOTOGRAPHY.


AND I THOUGHT I WOULD
GO AROUND


AND TAKE PICTURES


AND PRODUCE THEM
AND DEVELOP THEM,


AND THEY WOULD BE MY ART,


MY ARTWORK,
IS WHAT I HAD IN MIND.


THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED
AT ALL.


ACTUALLY, I WAS WORKING
IN A PROCESS COMPANY.


SOMEBODY ELSE WOULD TAKE
THE PICTURE,


I WOULD BE GIVEN THE ROLL,


TAKE OFF--IN THE DARKROOM,
TAKE OFF THE METAL PART,


DEVELOP IT IN THE MACHINE,


DIP IT IN.


AFTER IT WAS DRY, I'D CUT
ALL THE NEGATIVES


AND HAND IT OFF TO
THE NEXT PERSON.


I WAS IN THE PRODUCTION
DEPARTMENT, IN PRINTING.


ALSO, I WOULD BE INVOLVED IN
THE PRINTING PROCESS SOMETIMES.


I WOULD ALSO DEVELOP
THE PICTURES


AND PRODUCE THEM,


THEN HAND THEM BACK OFF TO
THE PHOTOGRAPHER.


THIS WAS MY JOB.


THAT IS NOT WHAT I HAD
IN MIND AT ALL.


AND I JUST STRUGGLE
WITH THE TEACHERS.


"NO, I WANT TO TAKE PICTURES."


AND THEY WOULD SAY,
"OH, YOU SHOULD TRY


"TO MAYBE GO INTO RIT,


"CROSS REGISTER OVER THERE.


THEY'RE VERY CREATIVE,
CREATIVE ARTS PHOTOGRAPHY."


AND I WENT OVER THERE
AND, OH, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.


THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO DO.


I TALKED WITH MY TEACHERS
ABOUT THAT.


THEY SAID, "WELL, IT'S
VERY DIFFICULT.


"YOU'RE NOT REALLY READY TO
GO INTO RIT


BECAUSE OF ALL OF
THESE REASONS."


THEY WERE VERY NEGATIVE
ABOUT IT.


THEY SAID I CAN'T, CAN'T, CAN'T
CAN'T DO IT.


AND I SAID, "BUT THAT'S
WHAT I WANT."


THEY SAID, "WELL, OVR
MIGHT NOT SUPPORT YOU.


MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE."


I THOUGHT, WELL, I CAN'T
JUST LEAVE


BECAUSE MY PARENTS WOULDN'T
APPROVE OF THAT CERTAINLY.


SO I STUCK WITH IT GRADUATED
HERE AT NTID


AND GOT A PRODUCTION JOB
IN PHOTOGRAPHY.


NTID WAS VERY GOOD AT HELPING ME
FIND A JOB


AFTER GRADUATION.


I WORKED IN BOSTON.


MY CAREER COUNSELORS CALLED UP


AND GOT ME A JOB RIGHT AWAY.


HE WAS VERY GOOD ABOUT THAT.


YOU KNOW, 95% OF THE GRADUATES
GET JOBS HERE.


IT'S REALLY VERY GOOD REPUTATION
HERE AT NTID,


AND IT'S TRUE.


AND AT THAT TIME,
I HAD NO PROBLEM


GETTING A JOB WITH THE HELP
OF NTID.


I WORKED FOR
THE POLAROID COMPANY--


INSTAMATIC POLAROID COMPANY.


AND I WORKED IN THE DARKROOM


WITH THE MACHINES
DEVELOPING FILMS.


AND I THOUGHT, "THIS IS NOT
WHAT I WANT


TO DO FOR MY FUTURE
AT ALL."


AND I THOUGHT, "WHAT ARE
MY DREAMS?" YOU KNOW.


"WHAT AM I GONNA DO
IN MY FUTURE?


"I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA BE
WORKING


WITH THESE CHEMICALS
ALL THE TIME."


AT THAT TIME,
THE ENERGY CRISIS HIT.


I THINK IT WAS IN 1973
OR '74,


RIGHT AROUND THERE.


AND NEW ENGLAND WAS REALLY
HIT BAD


WITH THE ENERGY CRISIS.


IT REALLY HAD PROBLEMS
WITH GASOLINE


AND ELECTRICITY, EVERYTHING.


AND THERE WERE LOTS OF LAYOFFS
IN NEW ENGLAND,


AND I WAS ONE OF THE PEOPLE
THAT GOT LAID OFF.


I HAD NO JOB.


ONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS WORKING
IN NEVADA


AT THAT TIME.


AND HE WORKED WITH A CHIMP,


TEACHING HIM SIGN LANGUAGE


AND TOLD ME A JOB THAT
I COULD TEACH SIGN LANGUAGE


AS WELL AS TAKE PICTURES
COMBINATION KIND OF A JOB.


AND THE JOB WAS OPEN.


THEY CONTACTED ME, I APPLIED,
AND GOT THAT JOB IN NEVADA.


ALSO AT THAT TIME,


I WANT TO MENTION
A LITTLE BIT


ABOUT HOW I BECAME A POET.


I TOLD YOU ABOUT A POET.


MM-HMM.


WHEN I WAS 12 OR 13


IN ONE OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES,


MY TEACHER GAVE US ALL
A POEM.


AND I READ THAT, I THOUGHT,


"OH, THAT'S QUITE
AN INTERESTING POEM."


I REALLY LIKED IT.
I TRIED TO TOY WITH


WRITING POETRY MYSELF.


I THOUGHT I WAS QUITE GOOD.


THE TEACHERS,
"EH, THAT'S FINE."


I DIDN'T GET THE ENCOURAGEMENT
I EXPECTED AT ALL,


SO I JUST KIND OF DROPPED IT.


AT NTID,


I FELT VERY ISOLATED
AND FELT INSPIRED AGAIN


TO TRY TO EXPRESS MYSELF
IN POETRY.


AND I TRIED TO WRITE POETRY


AND DIDN'T FEEL SUCCESSFUL
WITH IT,


BUT TRIED TO PLAY WITH IT
WITH SIGN LANGUAGE,


WITH AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE,


AND REALLY STARTED
TO EXPRESS MYSELF


IN THAT MANNER.


AND I WOULD JUST WRITE DOWN
THE GLOSSES IN ENGLISH


ON PAPER SO THAT I COULD
REMEMBER IT.


I NEVER TOLD ANYBODY
ABOUT THAT.


I JUST KEPT THAT TO MYSELF.


NOW BACK TO MOVING
TO NEVADA...


WITH MY NEW JOB TEACHING
THE CHIMP


AND ALSO TAKING PICTURES
THERE.


I WAS REALLY STRUCK AGAIN


WITH THE TERM "ASL."


PEOPLE WERE DEBATING
THE ISSUE--


WHAT IS ASL AND WHAT THE VALUE
OF IT WAS.


AND I THOUGHT, "WHAT IS ASL?"
I DIDN'T KNOW.


AND A FRIEND OF MINE STARTED
TELLING ME


ABOUT, "OH, ASL IS WONDERFUL.
YOU NEED TO SUPPORT IT.


IT'S A LANGUAGE IN ITSELF."


I THOUGHT, "OH, HOW RIDICULOUS."


I STARTED TO DISCOVER,
OH, MY GOODNESS,


IT IS A LANGUAGE.


IT REALLY STARTED TO GIVE ME
AN IDEA


OF MY OWN IDENTITY
AND MY OWN CULTURE.


AND THE CHIMP PROJECT, REALLY,


THERE WERE A LOT OF PROBLEMS
WITH THAT.


I QUIT THAT JOB


AND WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY
OF NEVADA


IN THE SOCIAL
PSYCHOLOGY PROGRAM


AND GOT A BACHELOR'S DEGREE.


I WAS THE ONLY DEAF PERSON
IN THAT PROGRAM.


I WAS REALLY INTO THAT MAJOR.


WHEN I GRADUATED,


I REALIZED THAT ALL THROUGH
MY UPBRINGING...


I THOUGHT I WAS VERY BRIGHT,


BUT PEOPLE HAD SUCH
LOW EXPECTATIONS.


I WOULD JUST TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF THAT.


AT THE UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,


I WAS FORCED TO STUDY
DILIGENTLY EVERY NIGHT,


WEEKENDS, FOR TWO YEARS


UNTIL I MADE IT, UNTIL
I GRADUATED.


I WISH I HAD HAD THAT EXPERIENCE
ALL THROUGH MY EDUCATION


SO THAT IT WASN'T SUCH
A SHOCK.


I REALLY MISSED A LOT,
REALLY.


I WAS AWAKENED TO THAT
REALIZATION


AFTER I GOT INTO THAT PROGRAM
IN NEVADA.


I REALIZED DEAF EDUCATION
IS REALLY NOT THAT SUCCESSFUL.


THAT WAS ONE OF THE IMPRESSIONS
I WANTED TO EXPRESS.


SOME OF MY HEARING FRIENDS
I HAD SUPPORTED ME.


I TALKED ABOUT ASL.


ONE OF MY HEARING FRIENDS
SUPPORTED ME,


BUT THEN HE GOT MARRIED.


AND I MUST SAY THAT
FOR A LONG TIME,


I HATED HEARING PEOPLE,
JUST DESPISED THEM.


I COULDN'T STAND--I SAW
A HEARING PERSON,


I WOULD TRY TO GET ANYWHERE
AWAY FROM THEM.


IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME.


I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO
DEAL WITH THEM.


I WOULD AVOID THEM IN MANNER
I POSSIBLY COULD.


YOU KNOW, JUST TRY AND BE
BRIEF AS I COULD.


I REALIZED AS I WAS GROWING UP,


THEY TOLD ME SO MANY THINGS


AND I JUST KIND OF AGREED
WITH THEM.


AND I THOUGHT, "OH, WE'RE
ALL THE SAME."


ACTUALLY, WHEN I WAS
GROWING UP,


I THOUGHT THAT HEARING PEOPLE
WERE JUST SMARTER THAN I WAS,


BUT I REALIZED WE'RE
ALL DIFFERENT.


AND I WANT TO THANK--


I REALLY FEEL THANKFUL


TO MY FRIEND AND HIS WIFE
FOR ENCOURAGING ME


AND HELPING ME UNDERSTAND THAT,
THAT WE'RE ALL THE SAME.


SOMEONE TOLD ME I SHOULD
TEACH ASL TO HEARING PEOPLE.


I THOUGHT, NO,


BECAUSE THE HEARING PEOPLE
ARE SO MUCH SMARTER THAN ME


AND EVERYTHING, NO.


SO LET'S STILL ENCOURAGE ME
TO DO THAT.


AND THEN I TRIED TO DO IT,


I WAS WILLING TO--
I WAS SO NERVOUS


ABOUT TEACHING THIS
THE FIRST TIME


I TAUGHT THE ABCs,
FINGERSPELLING.


AS WE WENT ALONG,


I TAUGHT THEM DIFFERENT
VOCABULARY--


BALL AND BOAT.


I MEAN, I WAS SO AWKWARD
ABOUT TEACHING IT.


HERE ARE THESE NEW
HEARING PEOPLE


TRYING TO LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE.


AS SOON AS I STARTED TEACHING
ASL,


I REALLY GOT INTO THAT.


I REALLY STARTED TO FIGURE OUT


WHAT I WAS TEACHING AND HOW
I SOCIALIZED


WITH OTHER PEOPLE.


I REALLY STARTED TO
UNDERSTAND LANGUAGE AND ASL


AS I STARTED TO TEACH IT.


AS I GOT INTO THAT PARTICULAR
OCCUPATION,


I ALSO STARTED WORKING AT VR
PART TIME.


YOU KNOW, VR, OVR PEOPLE.


ANYWAY, I PUT UP WITH THAT
KIND OF JOB


FOR A LITTLE WHILE,
JUST TO EARN EXTRA MONEY.


AND ONE TIME AT A PARTY--


I HAD TO GO TO THIS
OFFICE PARTY.


AND I MET ONE OF THE EXECUTIVE--


OR ONE OF THE ADMINISTRATORS
OF OVR.


HE WAS ONE OF THE STATE
EXECUTIVES,


SOMEONE FROM THE ADMINISTRATION
FROM THE STATE.


IT WAS A WOMAN.


AND SHE STARTED TO SIGN TO ME


AND VOICE A LITTLE BIT.


SHE SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU USE
YOUR VOICE, PLEASE?"


SHE ASKED ME TO USE MY VOICE.


I ALMOST AGREED TO DO SO


UNTIL I REALIZED, WHY WOULD
I DO SUCH A THING?


I ALMOST STARTED TO,


AND I HAD THIS LITTLE
INCLINATION.


AND I THOUGHT NO.


I HAD THIS AWFUL INTERNAL
STRUGGLE ABOUT IT.


SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULD
USE YOUR VOICE."


AND I THOUGHT, NO, I AM DEAF.


I WILL NOT USE MY VOICE.


I THOUGHT, WELL,
I DON'T WANT TO--


HOW REBELLIOUS SHOULD I BE
ABOUT THIS?


I DECIDED TO QUIT OVR,


AND I QUIT THAT JOB
RIGHT AFTER THAT.


AND I DECIDED TO FOCUS ON
TEACHING ASL.


NOW, THAT WOMAN,


REMEMBER HER BECAUSE I WILL
MENTION HER AGAIN


A LITTLE BIT LATER.


THE ASL PROGRAM I WAS TEACHING,
IT REALLY STARTED TO EXPAND.


AND AS IT WAS GROWING, I WAS
DEFINITELY GROWING AS WELL.


I WAS REALLY SURPRISED.


I WENT TO A WORKSHOP...


NCPTSLI.


IT'S A BIG WORD FOR
THE NATIONAL CONSORTIUM


FOR SIGN LANGUAGE INSTRUCTORS.


AND THIS WAS HELD IN TENNESSEE
IN 1980.


AND I WANTED TO


LEARN HOW TO BE ABLE
TO TEACH ASL,


SO I WENT TO THIS CONSORTIUM.


OH, IT HAD SUCH AN IMPACT
ON ME.


I LEARNED SO MANY THINGS.


I LEARNED MORE ABOUT ASL,
DEAF CULTURE,


DEAF RIGHTS,


SO MANY THINGS WHILE I WAS
AT THAT CONSORTIUM.


AND I STARTED TO HAVE A MUCH
BETTER IDENTITY OF MY OWN


AND SELF-ESTEEM.


I MET ELLA MAE LENTZ.
DO YOU KNOW ELLA?


SHE'S FROM CALIFORNIA,


AND SHE'S A WELL-KNOWN
DEAF POET.


SHE ANNOUNCED THAT SHE WAS
AN ASL POET.


[GASPS] I NEVER MET SOMEONE
WHO WAS AN ASL POET.


I HAD NEVER SHARED THAT
I WAS A POET TO ANYONE ELSE.


I MEAN, THIS HAD BEEN 9 YEARS
THAT I HAD KEPT THAT QUIET.


AND HERE WAS A PERSON
WHO ANNOUNCED IT


OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.


I SAID, "YOU'RE A DEAF POET.
IS THAT TRUE?"


SAID, "WOULD YOU MIND SETTING UP
A TIME TO MEET WITH ME?


I WOULD LOVE TO TALK WITH YOU
MORE ABOUT THAT,"


SO WE DID.


AFTER WE HAD THAT DISCUSSION,
I FELT SO GOOD.


AND I ALSO TALKED WITH
CAROL PATTON.


SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY HAD
A DEAF POETRY...


THEY NEEDED A DEAF POET
FOR A CONVENTION


AND WOULD I BE WILLING
TO PERFORM?


AND I THOUGHT, "NO, I'M NOT
GOING TO SHOW


MY POETRY IN PUBLIC."


THAT'S MY OWN PRIVATE...


THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I KEEP
IN PRIVATE.


BUT ELLA ENCOURAGED ME
TO DO THAT.


AND I THOUGHT, "WHY SHOULD
I DO THAT?"


I KIND OF GOT AGGRAVATED
WITH THE WHOLE THING.


AND THEN ANOTHER PERSON
ASKED ME,


A PERSON FROM MASSACHUSETTS
SAID,


"I HEARD THAT YOU'RE
A DEAF POET.


WHY DON'T YOU PERFORM
AT THIS CONVENTION?"


FINALLY, AFTER THE THIRD PERSON
HAD APPROACHED ME,


I AGREED TO DO IT.


I THOUGHT AFTER A WHILE, "WHY
HAVE I AGREED TO DO THIS?"


A FEW DAYS LATER,


I WENT TO BOSTON--


SOMEBODY ASKED ME TO GO
TO BOSTON


FOR THE NATIONAL CONSORTIUM
ON SIGN LANGUAGE.


OH, WHAT IS THE ACRONYM?


RESEARCH AND TEACHING


TO GIVE A CONVENTION.


THAT WAS IN 1980 AND HELD
IN BOSTON,


HELD IN MASSACHUSETTS.


AND I WAS ASKED TO GIVE
A PERFORMANCE.


AND I SAID, "WHAT? ME?


"IN FRONT OF A LARGE
GROUP OF PEOPLE?


I WOULD NEVER."


I WOULD NEVER.


I THOUGHT--I TRIED TO AVOID IT,


TRIED TO MAKE UP ALL SORTS
OF EXCUSES


WHY I COULDN'T DO IT,


BUT THEY WERE STILL PERSISTENT


IN ASKING ME TO PERFORM THERE.


AND THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
I THOUGHT,


"WELL, THESE 3 PEOPLE SEEM
TO LIKE IT,


SEEMED TO LIKE MY PERFORMANCE."


I THOUGHT, "WHY SHOULDN'T I
TAKE THAT STEP,


TRY AND DO IT?"


SO I AGREED.


AND, OH, I SHOULD HAVE
SAID NO.


I CAN'T BELIEVE I WENT AHEAD
WITH THIS.


ANYWAY.


AS THE TIME GOT CLOSER
AND CLOSER FOR THE CONVENTION,


I GOT MORE AND MORE NERVOUS.


AND I THOUGHT, BREAK MY LEG


OR TRY TO THINK OF DIFFERENT
EXCUSES


HOW I COULD GET OUT OF
THE WHOLE THING.


OH, I THOUGHT, "I NEED TO GO,
I REALLY DO."


THEN I'D THINK, "OH, I CAN'T."


I THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD ASK
THE DOCTOR


TO GIVE ME SOME VALIUM.


CAN YOU IMAGINE I WAS GOING
THROUGH ALL OF THIS,


TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW
I COULD POSSIBLY RELAX


AND PERFORM.


BUT I TRIED TO THINK POSITIVE
AS MUCH AS I COULD.


THE TIME ARRIVED.


AND THE CONVENTION BEGAN.


I WAS IN A DAZE.


ALL THESE PEOPLE SIGNING
ALL AROUND ME.


I HAD NO IDEA WHAT
THEY WERE SAYING.


ALL I COULD THINK OF IS THAT ONE
NIGHT I WOULD PERFORM.


JUST WALKED AROUND DAZED.


THE TIME CAME.


I WENT UP ON STAGE,


CAROL STARTED TO INTRODUCE ME.


SHE SAID, "WE HAVE A PERSON
HERE, A SPECIAL GUEST


THAT WILL BE PERFORMING FOR US,"


WENT ON AND ON ABOUT
THE INTRODUCTION.


SHE SAID, "AND HERE HE IS,"


AND I GOT RIGHT ONTO STAGE
NO PROBLEM.


I WAS SO SURPRISED.


I THOUGHT, "THIS IS ME
WALKING UP ON STAGE?


500 PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE."


I FELT FINE.


I STARTED TO DO MY ASL POETRY.


I THOUGHT, "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE
THAT I'M DOING THIS WELL."


STARTING TO SUPPRESS MY POETRY,
PERFORM.


I WAS ALL FINISHED, AND PEOPLE
WENT WILD IN RESPONSE.


I LEFT AND FAINTED ON THE SIDE
OF THE STAGE.


I THOUGHT, "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE
THAT I JUST DID THAT."


I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.


CAROL CAME UP TO ME,


SAID, "COME ON, WE WANT
SOME MORE."


I GOT BACK UP,
WENT ONTO STAGE.


"THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU,"


AND PERFORMED ONE MORE POEM,


WENT OFF THE STAGE, THOUGHT,


"OOH, I'M SO GLAD
THAT'S FINISHED."


FROM THEN ON, THOUGH, I REALLY
TOOK IT MUCH MORE SERIOUSLY.


IT WAS REALLY A STRONG IMPACT
IN MY LIFE.


AS TIME WENT ALONG,


I WORKED IN NEVADA
IN THE ASL PROGRAM,


A LINGUISTICS DEPARTMENT
WAS ESTABLISHED


AT THE GALLAUDET UNIVERSITY.


AND I THOUGHT, "WELL,
I WANT TO CHECK THAT OUT,"


AND I DID.
I MOVED TO GALLAUDET TO DC


AND GOT A MASTERS DEGREE
IN LINGUISTICS IN 1985.


TOOK ME 3 YEARS TO GET
THAT DEGREE.


AND DURING THAT 3 YEARS,


I WAS INVOLVED IN WORK
AND STUDYING,


AND THAT WAS IT.


I HAD NO TIME FOR
OTHER ACTIVITIES,


PERFORMING, NOTHING AT ALL,
JUST STUDY AND WORK.


SCHOOL AND WORK, THAT WAS IT.


IN 1985 WHEN I GRADUATED...


I NEEDED A JOB.


AND I THOUGHT,
"OOH, I DON'T KNOW


IF I WANT TO WORK
AT GALLAUDET."


I WAS NOT INTO SIMULTANEOUS
COMMUNICATION AT ALL.


I DID NOT WANT TO SUPPORT THAT.


I WANTED TO USE
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE.


AND I THOUGHT IF I
GET A JOB THERE,


I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SIGN
AND USE MY VOICE


AT THE SAME TIME,
AND I THOUGHT,


"DO I HAVE TO?"


I THOUGHT, "HMM,


IF I'M TEACHING, MAYBE I WON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT."


AND I THOUGHT, "WELL,
IS IT WORTH THE RISK?"


AND I WENT THROUGH QUITE
AN EMOTIONAL TIME ABOUT IT.


I APPLIED FOR A JOB,


HAD THE INTERVIEWS,


HAD A PANEL OF INTERVIEWERS.


I WAS NERVOUS, BUT I SIGNED
AS CLEAR AS I COULD,


VERY FORMAL SIGN LANGUAGE.


IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT THAT
I NEEDED TO BE AWARE


OF EVERYTHING
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE.


I WANTED TO GIVE THEM ALL
THE INFORMATION I WAS AWARE OF


DURING THE INTERVIEW.


AND THE INTERVIEWERS
WERE IMPRESSED,


BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
I COULD TELL


THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSION
WAS A LITTLE BIT UNNERVED
OR SOMETHING.


AND I THOUGHT, I DON'T KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW IF I DID WELL.


I KNEW ANOTHER PERSON
WHO WAS VERY GOOD


AT SIMULTANEOUS COMMUNICATION.


I THOUGHT, OH, THEY'LL PROBABLY
BE GIVEN THE JOB.


AND THEY WERE KIND OF
A BROWN NOSE.


BUT THEN I DISCOVERED THAT THEY
HAD PICKED ME FOR THE JOB.


I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.


I THOUGHT THEY SEEMED TO KNOW
I USE AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE


AT GALLAUDET.


THEY STILL ACCEPTED ME.


EXCEPT MY JOB OPPORTUNITY WAS
IN THE ASL DEPARTMENT.


IT'S ALL RIGHT IF YOU JUST
USE ASL


IN THE ASL PROGRAM,


AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS
ALL RIGHT.


THAT DIDN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL.


LATER I TRANSFERRED TO
THE LINGUISTICS


AND INTERPRETING DEPARTMENT.


AND I'VE BEEN WORKING THERE
SINCE.


I'VE BEEN WORKING THERE FOR
THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS


IN THAT DEPARTMENT
AT GALLAUDET.


I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH
A LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY,


CHECKING OUT DIFFERENT SCHOOLS,


TRAVELING, AND INTERVIEWING.


I USE AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE.


OTHER INTERVIEWERS USE
SIMULTANEOUS


AND OTHER PEOPLE USE
ENGLISH AND ORALISM.


WE HAVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO
INTERVIEW DIFFERENT PROGRAMS.


AND I WAS REALLY IMPRESSED
WITH THE CENTER--


CENTRAL INSTITUTE FOR THE DEAF
IN SAINT LOUIS.


OH, IT WAS PHENOMENAL.


I THOUGHT, "OH, IT'S JUST,
YOU KNOW, REGULAR SCHOOL, CID."


WHEN I GOT THERE, STARTED
TO INTERVIEW THE STUDENTS,


I WOULD SIGN TO THEM IN
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE,


AND THEY WOULD RESPOND TO ME


WITH ORALISM.


AND I COULDN'T...


I PUT DOWN ZERO.


STUDENT AFTER STUDENT,


ONE THAT KNEW A LITTLE BIT
OF SIGN LANGUAGE


FROM A SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF
EXPERIENCE HE HAD


BEFORE HE WENT TO THAT SCHOOL,


BUT WAS VERY RESISTANT
IN USING IT.


AND I MET OTHER PEOPLE, THE
STAFF AT THAT SCHOOL, AT CID.


I STARTED TO REALIZE I WAS
VERY MUCH ALONE.


PEOPLE WERE NOT SOCIALIZING
WITH ME AT ALL.


I GOT A LOT OF STRANGE LOOKS.


I DID NOT FEEL WELCOME AT ALL.


THIS IS FOR 3 DAYS.


OH, I'VE NEVER FELT
SO LONELY.


I REALIZE THAT THAT


WORLD IS VERY DIFFERENT.


I LEARNED SOMETHING.


IT'S GOOD TO SEE SOMETHING
FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.


PEOPLE WOULD NOT EVEN
LOOK ME IN THE EYE


IF I TRIED TO GESTURE
AND COMMUNICATE WITH THEM.


I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO
COMMUNICATION ABILITY WITH THEM.


THEY WOULD LOOK AT ME,
AND THEN WALK AWAY.


WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE
TO COMMUNICATE.


SO NOW WE COME INTO 1988


FOR THE DEAF PRESIDENT NOW
UPROAR.


OH, I WAS HEAVILY INVOLVED
WITH THAT


AND TRIED TO GET INVOLVED
WITH THE ACTIVITIES


AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, THIS
REALLY SIGNALS A CHANGE."


BUT EVERYTHING STAYED
THE SAME.


WE JUST SCRATCHED
THE SURFACE.


AND THAT WAS ANOTHER
BIG IMPACT FOR ME.


BEFORE THAT, I WAS A CONTENTIOUS
YOUNG MAN


AND INTERESTED IN DEBATING
ALL OF IT,


BUT FOR ALL THE WORK
THAT WE DID,


WE JUST SCRATCHED THE SURFACE.


AND THAT WAS REALLY AN IMPORTANT
LESSON TO LEARN.


THEN IN 1989, TWO YEARS AGO,


THERE WAS ANOTHER UPROAR
AT GALLAUDET CALLED ASL NOW.


IT WAS ANC,


THE ASL NOW CAMPAIGN.


AND THAT WAS FOCUSED AROUND THE
WHOLE COMMUNICATION POLICY.


THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ENGLISH
AND SIGN COMMUNICATION


AND SIMULTANEOUS COMMUNICATION
FOR ALL FACULTY,


THAT ALL FACULTY MUST USE
SIMCOM.


AND I THINK THAT THERE ARE...


OH, THERE WAS ALSO A STATEMENT
ABOUT ASL AND ENGLISH


BEING EQUAL LANGUAGES


AND EQUALLY VALID LANGUAGES.


AND IT'S REALLY BROUGHT
A LOT OF ATTENTION


AND CAUSED A LOT OF MEETINGS
TO BE CALLED.


AND THE FACULTY MET


AND HASHED OUT THE ISSUE.


AND THEY SAID ENGLISH
AND ASL


ARE EQUALLY VALID LANGUAGES,


BUT...


SO THEN IT WAS PLACED
TO A VOTE,


AND IT PASSED.


AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING
THAT REALLY AMAZED ME.


JUST THIS PAST FALL,


THERE WAS THE ENGLISH 50.


THIS WAS THIS COURSE
CALLED ENGLISH 50.


AND MANY DEAF PEOPLE REALLY
DID NOT


ENJOY TAKING THIS COURSE.


YOU HAD TO PASS IT IN ORDER
TO GET THROUGH.


LIKE, YOU KNOW, IF YOU FAILED
THIS COURSE 4 TIMES,


THEN YOU'RE OUT OF THE SCHOOL.


BUT...


THAT WAS THAT PARTICULAR SYSTEM,


AND THE DEAF STUDENTS
WANTED TO CHANGE IT.


BUT THEN ONE OF THE DEAF
STUDENTS DIED.


HE WAS ONE OF THE LEADERS
INVOLVED IN THIS ORGANIZATION


AND KEPT GOING BACK AND BACK
TO TRY AND FIGHT IT.


AND ONE PARTICULAR DAY,


HE DIED AS A RESULT
OF THE CONFLICT,


BUT AFTER THAT,
THERE WAS A LOT OF--


SINCE THEN THE ISSUE HAS BEEN
PRETTY QUIET


AND ENGLISH 50 IS STILL
ON THE BOOKS.


AND I REALIZE FROM MY MEETINGS
AND DISCUSSIONS


AND WORKSHOPS,


THAT'S REALLY NOT WHAT'S
GOING TO DO IT.


PUBLICATIONS IS WHAT'S
GOING TO DO IT.


SO NOW I'VE FOCUSED MY ATTENTION
ON WRITING


BECAUSE MEETINGS FADE AWAY,


BUT WRITING REMAINS.


AND SO I'M WORKING IN
THAT AVENUE


TO GET THIS--HOW MUCH TIME
DO I HAVE LEFT?


I'M DONE?


GOSH, I'VE GOT TO CATCH UP
ON A LOT


IN JUST A MOMENT HERE.


OK.


TO SUMMARIZE, FIRST OF ALL,


REMEMBER THE WOMAN FROM VR?


I JUST RAN INTO HER AGAIN
RECENTLY.


IT WAS AT THE AIRPORT.


THERE WAS A DEAF CONTINGENT
GOING SOME PLACE


AND THERE WERE A GROUP OF US
ALL SIGNING,


AND I LOOKED AT THIS WOMAN
AND SHE CAME UP


AND SHE SAID, "I SIGN.
CAN I HELP YOU?"


AND I LOOKED AT THIS FACE


AND I THOUGHT, "WHERE HAVE I
SEEN THIS FACE BEFORE?"


AND THEN SUDDENLY IT HIT ME,


THAT'S THE VR WOMAN.


AND I WAS ON FIRE IMMEDIATELY.


AND I THOUGHT, "NO, I CAN
CONTROL THIS."


SOME OF MY DEAF FRIENDS SAID,
"SOMETHING WRONG?


WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"


I SAID, "NOPE, NOPE.
I'M IN CONTROL."


SO WE ALL GOT ON THE PLANE,


AND I KNEW THAT I HAD TO
CONFRONT THIS WOMAN.


SO I KEPT MYSELF IN CONTROL,


AND I WALKED UP TO HER,


AND ACTUALLY I FOLLOWED HER
FOR A BIT OF A WAYS.


AND SHE SAID,
"OH, YOU'RE CLAYTON."


SHE EVEN FINGERSPELLED IT
NICE AND SLOWLY.


AND I THOUGHT, "MY GOD,
SHE REMEMBERED ME."


I REMEMBERED HER,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW


THAT SHE REMEMBERED ME.


AND SO I STARTED SIGNING
TO HER AND TALKING TO HER.


AND SHE WAS JUST SORT OF LOOKING
ALL OVER THE PLACE.


AND I SAID, "REMEMBER NEVADA?"


AND I WORKED THERE
AND ON AND ON.


AND SHE GOT OUT ONE OF
HER BUSINESS CARDS


AND HANDED IT TO ME QUICKLY.


AND I SAID, "OH, YOU'RE
STILL IN VR. HOW AMAZING."


AND THEN I KEPT TALKING
TO HER.


AND SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
I WAS SAYING AT ALL.


AND SO I SIGNED QUICKLY,
AND I FINISHED,


AND THEN I WALKED AWAY.


AND I HAVE TO ADMIT,
IT FELT SO GOOD.


AND I REALIZE NOW THAT I WASN'T
THE COWERING CHICKEN


THAT I THOUGHT THAT I WAS
SO LONG AGO.


SO IN SUMMARY,


NOW I'M GOING TO SCHOOLS
FOR THE DEAF


TO ALLOW CHILDREN
TO UNDERSTAND


WHERE POETRY COMES FROM,


BUT YOU KNOW THAT SCHOOLS
FOR THE DEAF


ARE UNDER STATE PROGRAMS.


AND SO THEY HAVE YOUNGER
CHILDREN SEPARATED


FROM THE OLDER CHILDREN.


THERE'S NO ANY INTERACTION
THERE.


SO NOW I'M FOCUSING
MY ENERGIES


ON TRYING TO GET--


YOU KNOW, I'M CAUSING A STIR
IN FANWOOD AND IN DELAWARE,


AND I'M TRYING TO CAUSE
MORE AND MORE OF A STIR


IN DIFFERENT PLACES TO GET
ALL OF THE STUDENTS TOGETHER.


NOW FINALLY, WHAT DO THEY
ALL CALL ME?


THEY CALL ME AN UGLY,
DEAF AMERICAN.


BUT I ACCEPT THE TITLE,


BECAUSE I'M STRIVING
FOR PROGRESS,


AND I AM A DEAF PERSON.


AND THAT'S IT.


THANK YOU.


SO IF YOU WANT TO ASK
CLAYTON MORE QUESTIONS,


HE'S GOING TO BE IN
THE VISITOR'S CENTER,


WHICH IS DOWN THE HALL
AND AROUND THE CORNER,


FROM 2:00 TO 3:00.


IS THAT RIGHT?
OK, THAT'S THE RIGHT TIME.


SECONDLY, I WANT TO THANK
OUR TWO INTERPRETERS FOR TODAY,


MARIE BERNARD
AND MARTHA SHIPPY.


THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


AND THANK YOU, CLAYTON.

"This project is supported by a Digitizing Hidden Collections grant from the Council on Library and Information Resources (CLIR). The grant program is made possible by funding from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation."