ds_0027_graybilllectureperformance_cap_01.mp4

ds_0027_graybilllectureperformance_cap_01.mp4

My poems in native and second languages

Graybill, Patrick

Deaf Poetry

American Sign Language

American poetry 20th century

Deaf, Writings of the, American

ASL poetry

Graybill shares his personal history relating to family, education, and community experiences growing up with English and ASL. He performs examples of translated poetry (from English to ASL: Not Waving But Drowning and Richard Cory) including his own compositions in English (Deaf Pride). He provides examples of poetic signing and use of metaphor by Deaf community members. In addition, he performs the first poem he created in ASL (Surprise). He also discusses the context and enacts excerpts from his National Theatre of the Deaf performance "On the Harmfulness of Tobacco."

National Technical Institute for the Deaf

Rochester Institute of Technology - RIT Libraries - RIT Archive Collections

Miriam and Kenneth Lerner ASL Poetry Collection

National Deaf Poetry Conference (1987 National Technical Institute for the Deaf)

1987

2018

moving image

mp4

VHS

82 minutes

American Sign Language

English

RITDSA.0027

Sculptures in the Air: An Accessible Online Video Repository of the American Sign Language (ASL) Poetry and Literature Collections

Miriam and Kenneth Lerner ASL Poetry Collection

2018-2019 CLIR Grant-ASL Poetry and Literature

https://albert.rit.…

https://archivesspa…

New York - Rochester

Henrietta Campus

RIT Libraries makes materials from its collections available for educational and research purposes pursuant to U.S. Copyright Law. You are free to use this Item in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. It is your responsibility to obtain permission from the copyright holder to publish or reproduce images in print or electronic form.

CC BY-NC-ND: Attribution NonCommercial NoDerivatives 4.0 International

[APPLAUSE]

- I'M GONNA GET UP NOW.
- OK.

- DO YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE THERE?
- YEAH. THANKS.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING AND WATCHING
AND WATCHING THE CLOCK

UNTIL IT WAS 1:00, AND
FINALLY HERE I AM, STANDING.

NOW, THIS MORNING,
I WATCHED THE LECTURE

PRESENTED BY PETER COOK,

AND, OH, I CAN'T DESCRIBE
HOW I FELT FROM THAT.

I'M NOT SURE MY PERFORMANCE
CAN QUITE EQUAL HIS.

I LIKE TO DO IT WITH A
HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE

LIKE PETER COOK DID.

MY STORY, ALL OF MY BACKGROUND
LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT,

PRESENTS MYSELF AS I AM NOW,
JUST AS HIS DID.

I'D LIKE TO START
WITH AN OVERHEAD.

CAN EVERYBODY SEE
THIS ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT?
EVERYBODY READ IT?

I'D LIKE TO SIGN
THIS POEM FOR YOU.

NOBODY HEARD HIM,
THE DEAD MAN,

BUT STILL HE LAY MOANING.

"I WAS MUCH FARTHER OUT
THAN YOU THOUGHT

AND NOT WAVING,
BUT DROWNING."

POOR CHAP.
HE ALWAYS LOVED LARKING,

AND NOW HE'S DEAD.

"MUST HAVE BEEN
TOO COLD FOR HIM,

AND HIS HEART GAVE WAY,"
THEY SAID.

"OH, NO. NO, NO.
IT WAS TOO COLD ALWAYS."

STILL, THE DEAD ONE
LAY MOANING.

"I WAS MUCH TOO FAR OUT
ALL MY LIFE

AND NOT WAVING,
BUT DROWNING."

[APPLAUSE]

FINE. FINE.

NOW, YOU NOTICE AS
I JUST SIGNED THIS POEM,

I WONDER IF THERE WAS ANYTHING
THAT YOU PARTICULARLY REMARKED

ABOUT THE WAY I SIGN THIS.

WHAT DID YOU JUST NOTICE?

OK, NOTICE THAT I SIGN THIS,
AND I USE A LITTLE BODY SHIFT.

OK, THAT'S ONE THING.

SEEING THAT THERE WERE
2 DIFFERENT MOODS CONVEYED.

ALL RIGHT.
ANYTHING ELSE?

SAID IT WAS CLOSE TO ENGLISH.

OK. THAT'S WHAT
I NOTICE, TOO.

THAT'S ONE THING THAT I NOTICED
ABOUT THE WAY I DID THIS.

IT'S ALMOST
WORD-FOR-WORD ENGLISH.

IT FOLLOWS IT
VERY CLOSELY.

AND THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN
AN INTERNAL CONFLICT WITH ME

AS I'VE GROWN
OVER THE YEARS.

NOW, I AM A DEAF GENTLEMAN,

AND I'VE ALWAYS HAD
THIS CONFLICT INSIDE.

SHOULD I SIGN CLOSER
TO ENGLISH?

I ALWAYS USED ASL
AS I GREW UP.

AND THESE TWO WARRING FACTIONS
HAVE CONTINUED TO THIS DAY,

AND THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO
SPEAK ABOUT TODAY...

THIS TURMOIL
INSIDE OF ME.

PLUS, WHAT'S THE
MEANING OF POETRY?

I'M NOT SURE I EVER
REALLY UNDERSTOOD IT,

BUT MY UNDERSTANDING HAS GROWN

AND CHANGED AND EVOLVED
OVER THE YEARS

UNTIL IT'S ARRIVED
WHERE I AM TODAY.

NOW, PETER COOK'S PRESENTATION
THIS MORNING--I RELATED TO THAT.

I THOUGHT, "YES, THAT'S
RIGHT. THAT'S IT."

AFTERWARDS, I WENT
AND I THOUGHT

AND RUMINATED ABOUT
EVERYTHING THAT I'D SEEN,

AND I HAD ALL THESE IDEAS
THAT WERE THE SAME.

I FELT THAT WE REALLY MATCHED.

NOW, THAT OVERHEAD
THAT I JUST SHOWED,

THAT WAS SHOWN BEFORE
ABOUT THE MEETING OF PANARA

AND ALLEN GINSBERG,

I PLANNED TO USE THAT
IN MY PRESENTATION.

I THOUGHT, "HMM, WHAT
AM I GONNA DO NOW?"

AND THEN PETER COOK
PUT THAT IN HIS.

AND I THOUGHT, "I PLANNED TO USE
THAT IN MY PRESENTATION.

NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?"

WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER
THEY STOLE MY THUNDER.

IT SEEMS THAT INSIDE,
INSIDE OF ME,

I STILL HAVE A YEARNING,

I STILL HAVE THINGS THAT I WANT
TO SAY THIS AFTERNOON.

I STILL WANT TO TALK ABOUT
THIS INTERNAL CONFLICT.

I STILL WANT TO TALK
ABOUT MY UNDERSTANDING

OF THE MEANING OF POETRY
AND HOW I'VE BEEN INFLUENCED

BY ALL THE DIFFERENT PEOPLE
AROUND ME IN THIS NEW FACTION

OF SIGN LANGUAGE RESEARCH,

ALL THE FINDINGS
THAT HAVE COME UP,

ALSO MY INSTITUTE UPBRINGING
AT THE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF,

HOW THAT FORMED MY CHARACTER,

HOW MY FAMILY INFLUENCED ME
OVER THE YEARS,

AND GALLAUDET COLLEGE,
OF COURSE.

ALSO, I WAS INVOLVED WITH
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF,

AND THAT WAS ANOTHER LAYER.

I SEEM TO HAVE BEEN AWASH
WITH NEW IDEAS AND INFLUENCE,

AND THAT CONTINUES.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO
REALLY UNDERSTAND

THAT IF YOU CARE TO INTERRUPT ME
AT ANY TIME DURING MY LECTURE,

I WILL REALLY URGE YOU
TO DO THAT.

I WON'T COMPLAIN,
AND I WON'T OBJECT

BECAUSE I THINK THAT THAT'S
A STRONG CHARACTERISTIC

OF DEAF CULTURE.

IF I SEE YOU WITH
QUIZZICAL EXPRESSIONS,

I'D WANT A DISCUSSION TO ENSUE.

MAYBE IF I WANT YOU TO
HOLD IT, I'LL SAY THAT,

AND I'LL ANSWER
THE QUESTION LATER.

ALL RIGHT?
YOU ALL AGREE?

BECAUSE I THINK
I CAN SCAN ALL YOU,

AND I CAN SEE YOU
QUITE WELL FROM HERE. OK?

OK, GREAT.

I'D LIKE MY LECTURE
TO BEGIN.

MAYBE MANY OF YOU KNOW
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME,

BUT I DOUBT IT.

I THINK MAYBE THAT'S
IN THE SMALLER CATEGORY,

A FEW PEOPLE.

I WAS BORN IN KANSAS.

IT WAS A FAMILY
OF 7 CHILDREN,

5 OF WHOM WERE DEAF
AND 2 WERE HEARING,

THE 2 BEING THE 3rd
AND THE 5th RESPECTIVELY--

THE HEARING SANDWICH BETWEEN
THE 2nd AND THE 4th AND THE 5th.

I WAS THE 4th CHILD BORN.
THE LAST 2 WERE DEAF.

NOW, MY PARENTS WERE HEARING.
WHAT WERE THEY TO DO?

THEY DIDN'T REALLY KNOW.

THEY'RE NOT SURE
WHY IT HAPPENED.

THEY THINK THAT PERHAPS
IT WAS IN THE GENES,

THAT WAY, WAY BACK THERE WAS
SOME DEAFNESS IN THE FAMILY,

BUT THERE'S NO PROOF.

MY OLDEST SISTER REMEMBERED THAT
WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL...

SHE'D SEEN A RELATIVE WHO SEEMED
TO NOT BE ABLE TO TALK.

SHE ASKED RELATIVES
ABOUT IT, AND THEY SAID,

"NO, NO. THAT PERSON CAN HEAR
BUT CAN'T TALK.

IT'S A MUTE."

SO, THAT'S ONE CLUE THAT
WE HAD TO THE MYSTERY.

PERHAPS IT'S JUST THAT WE
WEREN'T ALLOWED TO TALK

ABOUT SUCH THINGS
IN THE FAMILY,

AND THEY DIDN'T WANT ANY PRIOR
KNOWLEDGE OF DEAFNESS TO EXIST.

MAYBE MY PARENTS HAD
INCOMPATIBLE GENES.

MAYBE THERE WERE
2 RECESSIVE ONES

THAT RESULTED IN THE BIRTH
OF 5 DEAF CHILDREN.

WE REALLY DON'T HAVE
ANY SUBSTANTIAL PROOF.

BUT IT'S REAL INTERESTING.

IF YOU FEEL THAT I WAS BORN--
THAT I WAS DISAPPOINTED

TO BE BORN INTO A FAMILY WITH
THIS SORT OF CONSTELLATION,

YOU WOULD BE VERY WRONG.

IT WAS GREAT TO HAVE
SIBLINGS THAT WERE DEAF.

WE JUST SIGNED AWAY.

NOW, MY PARENTS AND
MY 2 HEARING SISTERS

HAD THEIR OWN LITTLE CLIQUE
BECAUSE THEY COULD TALK,

AS IF THERE WERE 2 LANGUAGES

AND 2 DIFFERENT CULTURES
IN THE HOUSE,

BUT THEY SEEMED TO BE RUNNING
PARALLEL COURSES.

I'M NOT SURE I COULD
CALL MYSELF BICULTURAL.

AND THE REASON BEING THAT
I NEVER REALLY ASSIMILATED

ALONG THE SIMILAR TRACK AS MY
PARENTS AND MY HEARING SISTERS.

WE SEEMED TO SUBSIST
IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD,

BUT NOT HAVE MUCH SPILLOVER.

WE'D BE SIGNING AWAY
WITH MY DEAF SIBLINGS,

AND THEN MY PARENTS AND MY
SISTERS WOULD SIGN ENGLISH.

MY MOTHER'S HEARING,
BUT SHE'D BEEN A SCHOOLTEACHER

BEFORE SHE WAS MARRIED
AND HAD ALL HER CHILDREN.

SHE LEARNED SIGN LANGUAGE
FROM US KIDS.

BUT OF COURSE, SHE WAS
ALWAYS THINKING ENGLISH.

AND, OF COURSE,
HER LANGUAGE MATCHED--

HER LANGUAGE HAD TO HAVE
HER SIGNS MATCH IT.

I COULD FOLLOW HER FINE.

AS FOR MY FATHER...

WELL, AS WITH ALL FATHERS,

PERHAPS, HE DIDN'T FEEL HE COULD
SIGN WITH HIS CHILDREN.

HE KNEW ABOUT 6 SIGNS.

THAT WAS THE EXTENT OF
HIS SIGNING COMPLEMENT.

AND THE 6 SIGNS WERE...

FATHER--OOPS!
I MADE A MISTAKE.

"MOTHER WANTS YOU."

[LAUGHTER]

AND THE REASON WHY THOSE
WERE THE FIRST 3 SIGNS

IN HIS VOCABULARY?

WELL, IT'S EASY.

FATHER WOULD DECIDE THAT
HE NEEDED TO TALK WITH ME,

TO PATRICK,

SO HE WOULD SAY SOMETHING
TO MOTHER IN THE OTHER ROOM

AND YELL TO HER,
AND THEN HE'D SAY,

"MOTHER WANTS YOU," AND THEN
I'D RUN TO WHEREVER MOTHER WAS.

AND THEN SHE WOULD EXPLAIN TO ME
WHAT FATHER HAD JUST SAID.

"OH, I SEE."
AND THAT'S HOW I GOT

THE COMMUNICATION
WITH MY FATHER

WITH THOSE 3 WORDS--
"MOTHER WANTS YOU."

THE 4th SIGN...

I BET YOU COULD
PROBABLY GUESS.

ANY GUESSES?

NO. "NO" IS NOT
A GOOD ONE,

'CAUSE HE COULD JUST
SHAKE HIS HEAD AND DO THAT

AND I'D UNDERSTAND FINE.

"I LOVE YOU"? NO.

"BED"? UM-MMM.

"WORK. WORK."

[LAUGHTER]
"WORK."

"WORK" WAS THE ONE.

AND THE 5th ONE WAS "EAT."

DINNERTIME!
EAT, EAT, EAT.

THE 6th SIGN WAS "DOG."
MEAN, IT'S TIME TO FEED THE DOG.

MAYBE THERE WERE MORE,
BUT I REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER.

THOSE ARE THE 6 THAT REALLY
IMPRESSED UPON MY MEMORY.

AND THAT WAS MY FAMILY.

SO, MY MOTHER SIGNED
PRETTY WELL,

AND THAT REALLY INFLUENCED ME
A LOT, AS I'LL LATER EXPLAIN.

ALL MY SISTERS, OF COURSE,
EXPLAINED TO ME--

INFLUENCED ME A LOT, TOO.

WHEN I WAS ABOUT
4 OR 5 YEARS OLD,

I WENT TO THE KANSAS
SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF.

I WENT TO SEE MY SISTERS
IN A SCHOOL PLAY THERE,

AND I SAT WAY UP
IN THE FRONT ROW

WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS
IN THE INSTITUTE.

I THINK IT WAS
A SOPHOMORE CLASS,

AND THEY WERE
PUTTING ON A PLAY.

AND THEY WERE PUTTING ON
"HUCKLEBERRY FINN."

MY SISTER'S CLASS
WAS ALMOST ALL GIRLS.

THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH
BOYS IN IT.

SOME OF THE GIRLS WERE FORCED
TO TAKE ON ROLES OF MEN

IN THE PERFORMANCE.

SO, THEY HAD ALL THIS
BLACKFACE ON, BLACK MAKEUP.

I STILL HAVE THIS VERY STRONG
PICTURE IN MY MIND

OF MY SISTER UP ON STAGE
ACTING WITH TOM AND HUCK

ON THE STAGE
AT THE SAME TIME,

AND THEY WERE HIDING
UNDER A BED, LYING IN WAIT.

AND I WATCHED, AND
I WAS SO IMPRESSED.

I WAS SO EXCITED.
AND I WENT HOME,

AND I WAS TALKING TO MY OTHER
TWO SISTERS AND MY MOTHER,

AND I WAS TELLING THEM
ABOUT THIS DEAF PERFORMANCE.

I WAS TRYING
TO EXPLAIN IT.

I THOUGHT I SHOULD TRY
TO DIRECT THEM,

AND WE COULD PUT ON
A PLAY, TOO.

AND WE COULD ASK ALL
OUR FRIENDS TO COME

AND PAY ADMISSION, LIKE MAYBE
10 CENTS OR SOMETHING,

AND THEY COULD COME
AND WATCH US ACT, TOO.

AND I ALREADY HAD THIS
THEATER BUG IN ME

FROM WAY BACK THEN FROM THAT
PERFORMANCE AT THE INSTITUTE.

WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD,
I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO GO TO

THE KANSAS STATE SCHOOL
FOR THE DEAF MYSELF,

'CAUSE I WAS
TOO YOUNG TO GO BACK

WHEN I'D SEEN
MY SISTERS PERFORM.

THERE WERE MANY POSITIVE
INFLUENCES THERE.

BUT AS I'VE ANALYZED IT OVER
THE YEARS AND LOOKED BACK

UPON THESE EXPERIENCES,
I'VE IDENTIFIED SEVERAL FACTORS

THAT WERE POSITIVE.

I WAS TALKING TO ELLA
ABOUT THAT,

AND AS I THOUGHT ABOUT
ALL THESE THINGS,

I HAVE A DEEPER
UNDERSTANDING NOW

ABOUT WHY I'M
THE WAY I AM,

AND I SEE THAT THOSE
INSTITUTE DAYS,

WHEN I WENT IN,
I LEARNED A LOT.

I LEARNED THE MOST,
I THINK, FROM THE DORM

RATHER THAN THE CLASSROOM.

WHICH WOULD YOU SUSPECT?

THE DORM IS RIGHT,
IF YOU AGREED WITH ME, YES.

AND THE REASONS BEING THAT
I LEARNED SO MUCH THERE

WAS BECAUSE, OF COURSE,
THERE WE COULD USE

OUR NATIVE LANGUAGE OF ASL.

AND WE CHATTED AWAY
A STORM WITH EACH OTHER

AND HAD A GREAT SOCIAL LIFE.

I LEARNED SO MUCH THERE.

LEARNED ABOUT SEX THERE,

TOLD STORIES THERE.

OH, IT WAS SUCH AN ENJOYABLE
TIME. IT WAS A LOT OF FUN!

OUR SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROVED
FROM THAT ENVIRONMENT.

OUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS
DEVELOPED THERE

FROM THE DORM LIFE.

OUR ATHLETIC ABILITIES--
THAT'S WHERE THEY STARTED.

IT WAS SUCH AN EXCITING
PLACE TO BE.

OH, THE MISCHIEVOUS THINGS
WE'D GET INTO AT NIGHT.

THAT WAS THERE, TOO.

AND ALSO, WE HAD
A LITERARY SOCIETY,

AND THAT SPRANG
FROM THE DORMS.

IT SEEMS TO BE GONE
FROM INSTITUTES NOWADAYS,

BUT BACK THEN, IT WAS
SUCH AN INTEGRAL PART

OF LIFE IN THE DORMS FOR ME.

NOW, I HAPPEN TO LOVE
TO READ AND WRITE.

REMEMBER, MY MOTHER INFLUENCED
ME BECAUSE SHE'D BEEN A TEACHER,

AND SHE TAUGHT ME HOW
TO READ AND WRITE.

I LEARNED THAT FROM HER.

SO, I WAS VERY EXCITED
TO GO AND SEE ALL THESE PLAYS,

WITH ALL THE AUDIENCE
OF THE INSTITUTE

SITTING AND WATCHING
THE STAGE.

ALL THE DIFFERENT CLASSES
WOULD TAKE TURNS MONTHLY

PRESENTING MAYBE POETRY
OR MAYBE STORYTELLING.

SOMETIMES THERE'D BE NEWS,
WEEKLY NEWS EVENTS PORTRAYED,

BUT THE BEST OF ALL WAS WHEN
THE DEAF TEACHERS THEMSELVES

WOULD COME UP ON THE STAGE,
AND THEY WOULD DO STORYTELLING.

OR SOMETIMES THEY WOULD
SIGN POETRY.

AND I SAT--I REMEMBERED
SITTING THERE

AND WATCHING THOSE
TEACHERS PERFORM

AND SEEING ALL THOSE
DIFFERENT STORIES TOLD,

BUT THERE'S ONE THAT STANDS
OUT IN MY MIND SO STRONGLY.

IT WASN'T EVEN A FULL STORY, BUT
THE PICTURE THAT WAS PORTRAYED

JUST SENT A SHOCKWAVE
THROUGH MY BODY.

IT WAS A WOMAN TEACHER.

AND SHE HAD GRADUATED
FROM GALLAUDET COLLEGE BEFORE

AND ALSO HAD GROWN UP IN KANSAS
STATE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF.

STOOD ON THE STAGE--
NOW, THAT WOMAN,

I SUSPECT LONG BEFORE HAD
PROBABLY HAD A LONG LINEAGE

OF DEAFNESS PASSED DOWN TO HER
THROUGH HER FAMILY.

SHE'D GONE TO
GALLAUDET COLLEGE,

AND I THINK SHE HAD
A GREAT SENSE OF PRIDE.

SHE SIGNED A FAMOUS
AMERICAN SONG,

OF COURSE,
"THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER."

AND SHE'D SIGNED IT IN FRONT OF
FOOTBALL GAMES AT HALFTIME.

I THINK MAYBE EVEN BEFORE,
MAYBE THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME

SHE SIGNED IT.

"LIFE" MAGAZINE
PHOTOGRAPHED HER

AND PUT HER PICTURE IN THE
MAGAZINE, ON THE VERY FRONT.

I THINK IT WAS FROM
THE YEAR 1944.

I CAN'T REMEMBER
THE EXACT MONTH,

BUT HER PICTURE
WAS EMBLAZONED ON THE FRONT

IN THIS POSE OF SIGNING.

NOW, OF COURSE, THE ARMY
WAS INVOLVED IN WORLD WAR II,

AND I'M SURE THEY ALL
FELL IN LOVE WITH THAT.

PEOPLE SENT--SENT HER LETTERS
AND PROPOSED MARRIAGE TO HER

BECAUSE OF BEING SO
FAR AWAY AND LONESOME.

BUT THERE SHE WAS AT NIGHT,
STANDING AND TELLING THIS STORY,

AND IT WAS CALLED
"THE BLACK CAT."

IT WAS WRITTEN BY
EDGAR ALLAN POE.

I SAT IN THAT AUDIENCE
AND WATCHED

WITH SUCH A SENSE
OF EXCITEMENT.

I REMEMBER THIS ONE PICTURE
PARTICULARLY WELL.

AH! A SOUND IS HEARD
AND A HIGH SCREECHING NOISE.

WHERE'S THAT NOISE
COMING FROM?

I'M IN THE BASEMENT...

SURROUNDED BY WALLS
OF RED BRICKS.

THE SOUND AGAIN.

EEEE EEE EEE!

WHAT IS IT?

A MAN TAKES UP A PICK...

AND STRIKES THE WALL WHERE HE
THINKS HE HEARS THE SOUND.

THE WALL CRUMBLES
SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SLOWLY,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

AH! THE SOUND AGAIN.

EEEE EEE!

WHERE'S THAT
COMING FROM?

AND HE STRIKES THE WALL
AGAIN AND AGAIN,

AND IT CRUMBLES,

AND 2 POINTY EARS
SHOW BEHIND THE WALL.

AND THE WALL CRUMBLES LOWER
AS HE HITS THE WALL.

2 GLOWING EYES
IN THE DARK.

AND THE WALL CRUMBLES LOWER.

NOW, LITTLE PATRICK SITTING
IN THE WALL THERE,

I WASN'T LYING BACK BORED.

I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
LIKE AT THE MOVIES.

YOU KNOW, MOVIES BACK THEN

DIDN'T HAVE ANY
CAPTIONS OR ANYTHING.

AND SO I COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE
WHAT WAS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE.

THE WALL CRUMBLED LOWER.

AH! AND 2 FANGS
SHINE IN THE NIGHT.

YEEOWW!

A LARGE SCREECH, AND THE MAN
HACKS AND HACKS WITH THE PICK.

AND IT'S A BLACK CAT SITTING
ON THE SKULL OF A DEAD MAN

HUNG BEHIND THE WALL.

NOW, THAT PICTURE HAD ME SCARED
WITLESS, I WANT TO TELL YOU,

AND IT INDELIBLY IMPRESSED
ITSELF ON MY MEMORY.

I HAVE THAT PICTURE
THERE ALWAYS.

I SO ENJOYED IT.

AND THAT'S ANOTHER REASON
THAT DORM LIFE WAS SO IMPORTANT

AND SO EXCITING FOR US.

NOW, CONTRAST THIS
TO THE CLASSROOM,

WHERE WE'D GO IN,
AND THE LANGUAGE THAT

WE USED IN THE DORM WAS
ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN THERE.

MOST OF THE TEACHERS
WERE HEARING,

AND THEY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND US
WHEN WE USED ASL.

SO, OF COURSE, THEY
ENCOURAGED US TO SPEAK

OR TO SIGN USING ENGLISH.

WE HAD TO BE VERY PATIENT
AND SUFFER THROUGH THIS.

DO YOU ALL REMEMBER THIS,
SOME OF YOU?

NOW, THE TEACHERS REALLY
DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING.

THEY DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
HOW TO DEAL WITH US

OR TRY TO UNDERSTAND
OUR LANGUAGE.

THEIR DUTY WAS TO
TEACH US ENGLISH

AND MATH AND READING
AND WRITING--

EVERYTHING USING
ENGLISH, OF COURSE.

THAT WAS THEIR TASK.

I DID PRETTY WELL. I WAS VERY
GOOD AT READING AND WRITING

AND WAS VERY GOOD
AT MEMORIZATION, TOO.

SO I DIDN'T HAVE AS MUCH
TROUBLE WITH THAT,

BUT MOST OF THE CLASS REALLY
SUFFERED THROUGH THIS.

SOMETIMES IF WE SIGNED,
WE'D BE PUNISHED.

WE HAD TO PUT ON WHITE MITTS,

AND THIS DRAWSTRING
WAS PUT BETWEEN THEM

AND OUR HANDS WERE
TIED TOGETHER.

IF THEY CAUGHT US SIGNING,
THAT'S WHAT WE HAD TO DO.

AND WE COULDN'T SIGN AT ALL.

WE HAD TO HAVE OUR HANDS
IN FRONT OF US LIKE THAT.

NOW, IN THE DORM, WE LEARNED
SO MUCH FROM EACH OTHER.

AND THEN WE GO INTO
THE CLASSROOMS,

AND WE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.

WE COULDN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING
TO EACH OTHER.

WE JUST HAD TO TAKE WHATEVER WE
COULD GET FROM THE TEACHER,

AND THIS WAS WHAT
WE HAD TO PUT UP WITH.

NOW, I WAS
A FAIRLY GOOD STUDENT,

AND I SEEMED TO PROGRESS
ALONG FINE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.

BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND,

I FELT LIKE I WAS
BEING BRAINWASHED

AS TO THE IMPORTANCE
OF ENGLISH,

AND I REALLY WANTED TO SUCCEED
AT ENGLISH TO BE A GOOD PERSON.

I LOOK BACK NOW,
AND I REALLY REALIZE

THAT THAT STRUGGLE
HAD NOT YET BEGUN

BECAUSE I FELT SUCCESSFUL.

I WAS DOING WELL AT ENGLISH,

AND I SEEMED TO BE
MOVING UP IN THE RANKS.

BUT INSIDE, I REALLY WASN'T
COMFORTABLE USING ENGLISH,

AND THAT TURMOIL WAS
BEGINNING TO HAVE

THE SEED SPROUTING OF IT.

THIS KIND OF CONTINUED.

I WAS IN A SCHOOL PLAY,
AND I DID SOME ACTING,

AND, OF COURSE, I SIGNED
BUT USING ENGLISH.

LATER, I WENT TO
GALLAUDET COLLEGE.

AND I REMEMBER THE YEAR
1958 TO 1964 VERY WELL.

THOSE WERE MY GALLAUDET YEARS,
AND THEY WERE VERY IMPORTANT.

IT WAS AN HISTORICAL TIME

WHEN I WENT INTO COLLEGE
IN THOSE YEARS,

AND I WAS VERY, VERY FORTUNATE.

WHEN I WENT INTO THAT COLLEGE
FOR THE FIRST TIME,

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

THERE WERE 9 TEACHERS,
8 OF WHOM WERE DEAF.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

AND THE ONE HEARING TEACHER
COULD SIGN PRETTY DARN WELL.

BUT ALL THOSE TEACHERS
IN THE INSTITUTE--

YOU KNOW, IT WAS SUCH AN ANOMALY
TO HAVE A DEAF ONE,

ANYBODY WHO COULD SIGN.

BUT 8 OF MY TEACHERS BEING DEAF,
I WAS ECSTATIC.

I WAS GOING TO LEARN SO MUCH.

THE SAME TIME, THEY WERE DEAF
AND THEY WERE SIGNING,

BUT THEY WERE SIGNING ENGLISH.

OF COURSE, I FELT THAT THIS WAS
IMPRESSED UPON ME VERY STRONGLY

THAT I WOULD HAVE TO MATCH
THE ENGLISH SKILLS, TOO,

TO BE CONSIDERED A SUCCESS.

INSIDE, I FELT LIKE
I WANTED TO ESCAPE,

I WANTED TO JOIN THE THEATER

WHERE I ENJOYED THAT
SORT OF ACTIVITY.

I REALLY DIDN'T ENJOY AS MUCH
IN THE ACADEMIC ARENA,

BUT I REALLY, REALLY HAD
A GOOD TIME IN THE THEATER.

I LIKED ALL THE ADULATION.
I LIKED THE PATS ON THE BACK.

BUT EVEN IN THE THEATER WORK,
WE WEREN'T USING ASL.

WE WERE SIGNING ENGLISH.

I STILL REMEMBER...

LET'S SEE...

I WANT TO JUMP AHEAD
FOR JUST A SECOND.

WHEN I GRADUATED IN MY SENIOR
YEAR AT GALLAUDET COLLEGE,

THERE WAS A LARGE CONFERENCE
OF ALL THE ALUMNI WHO CAME,

AND THERE WAS
A POETRY COMPETITION.

OOH, I WAS REALLY INTERESTED
IN THAT. I'D MAKE--

ELLA HAS A LITTLE GRIN
ON HER FACE

'CAUSE I THINK SHE
PERFORMED THAT, TOO.

WE TALKED ABOUT HOW TO
TRANSLATE THAT BEFORE,

HOW TO DO THAT POEM.

"WHAT WAS THAT SIGN
YOU JUST SAID?" SOMEBODY ASKED.

ELLA. ELLA MAE LENTZ.

SHE'S GOT A GREEN COAT ON.

OK, YOU READY?

READY?

OK.

THIS IS CALLED
"RICHARD COREY."

I'LL SIGN "RC"
ON THE SHOULDER.

THAT'LL BE THE NAME SIGN.

REMEMBER, I SIGNED THIS
A LONG TIME AGO, ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS HOW I DID IT.

WHENEVER RICHARD COREY
WENT DOWNTOWN,

WE PEOPLE ON THE PAVEMENT
LOOKED AT HIM.

HE WAS A GENTLEMAN
FROM SOLE TO CROWN,

CLEAN FAVORED
AND IMPERIALLY SLIM.

AND HE WAS ALWAYS
QUIETLY ARRAYED,

AND HE WAS ALWAYS HUMAN
WHEN HE TALKED.

BUT STILL,
HE FLUTTERED PULSES

WHEN HE SAID "GOOD MORNING,"
AND HE GLITTERED WHEN HE WALKED.

AND HE WAS RICH.

OH, YES, RICHER
THAN A KING

AND ADMIRABLY SCHOOLED
IN EVERY GRACE.

AND FINE. WE THOUGHT
HE WAS...

EVERYTHING,

EVERYTHING TO MAKE US WISH
THAT WE WERE IN HIS PLACE.

SO, ON WE WORKED,
AND WE WAITED FOR THE LIGHT

AND WENT WITHOUT MEAT
AND CURSED THE BREAD.

AND RICHARD COREY,
ONE CALM SUMMER NIGHT,

WENT HOME AND PUT
A BULLET THROUGH HIS HEAD.

AND SIGNING RATHER SLOWLY,
YOU MIGHT NOTICE,

AND...

I WAS TRYING TO FORCE
EVERYTHING INTO ENGLISH.

I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME SORT OF
ASL THINGS IN THERE, BUT...

INSIDE, I FELT THAT
IT WAS IMPORTANT

TO SHOW THESE ASL THINGS,
THESE ASL BEHAVIORS,

BUT I WAS TRYING TO SQUEEZE THEM
INTO AN ENGLISH FORMAT.

WELL, IT SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN
ENOUGH BECAUSE I WON FIRST PRIZE

AT THAT COMPETITION, WHICH WAS
QUITE A DELIGHTFUL EXPERIENCE.

NOW, SECOND PRIZE WAS WON BY
M.J. BIENVENU'S FATHER.

SO, HE WAS SECOND
AND RUNNER-UP TO ME.

AND THAT MEANS, UH...

THAT I WAS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
ONE IN THE CLASS, IT SEEMED,

THE BEST POET
AT GALLAUDET COLLEGE.

THERE WAS LOY GOLLADAY AND
THERE WAS ROBERT PANARA THERE,

BUT SOMEHOW I CAME UP
ON TOP OF THAT.

BUT STILL I HAD THIS
TURMOIL INSIDE,

AND I HADN'T READ THAT POEM--
WRITTEN THAT POEM MYSELF.

I DID WRITE A POEM THAT I
TRIED TO SUBMIT TO A JOURNAL

AT THE GALLAUDET COLLEGE,
AND THEY DIDN'T ACCEPT IT.

THEY SAID, "WELL,
THERE'S NO RHYTHM.

"IT'S NOT QUITE RIGHT.

"AND THE LAST WORDS
OF THE SENTENCES

DON'T SEEM TO RHYME,
THEY DON'T MATCH."

SO I WAS VERY FRUSTRATED.

I FELT LIKE MAYBE STICKING
TO SIGNING THEM WAS FINE.

BUT WRITING THEM,
I JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

NOW, UNDERSTAND THAT
MY ENGLISH IS PRETTY FINE,

AND I MAJORED IN ENGLISH
AT GALLAUDET.

BUT WHILE I WAS
AT GALLAUDET COLLEGE,

A CERTAIN IMPORTANT
ANNOUNCEMENT WAS MADE--

THAT ASL WAS A TRUE LANGUAGE,

EQUAL IN EVERY RESPECT
TO ENGLISH.

WELL, I WAS PRETTY
NONPLUSSED AT THIS

BECAUSE THE GENTLEMAN
WHO MADE THIS PRONOUNCEMENT,

A DR. WILLIAM STOKOE,

HE WASN'T SO HOT OF A SIGNER
HIMSELF, TO TELL THE TRUTH.

AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS.

HE WAS THE ONE
MAKING THE STATEMENT

THAT ASL WAS A LANGUAGE?

WHO IS HE ANYWAY?

HE HAD 2 RESEARCH ASSISTANTS
WORKING UNDER HIM

WHO WERE BOTH DEAF,

BUT ONE OF THE ASSISTANTS
GREW UP IN SWEDEN,

AND THEN HE CAME HERE
TO THE UNITED STATES

AND HE BECAME
A TEACHER OF ENGLISH.

SO HE'D RESEARCH, AND I THOUGHT,
"WELL, HOW DOES HE KNOW?"

AND THEN THE OTHER ASSISTANT
WAS FROM HAWAII.

AT THE TIME, HAWAII
WASN'T EVEN A STATE YET.

SO, I WAS A LITTLE PUZZLED
BY THIS PRONOUNCEMENT.

WHO WERE THESE 3 PEOPLE
WHO'D MADE THIS DECISION?

I WAS VERY CONFUSED.

NOW, SOME OF MY DEAF FRIENDS
IN THE CLIQUES THERE SAID,

"OH, IT'S NOT TRUE.
IT'S NOT TRUE ASL.

"IT'S A BAD LANGUAGE.
IT'S BASTARDIZED ENGLISH.

IT'S NOT REALLY A LANGUAGE."

AND I WAS CONFUSED
BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE

IN THAT PARTICULAR FACTION,
BUT I COULDN'T DENY

THIS GROWING SENSE OF
EXCITEMENT AND PRIDE IN ME

BECAUSE IT MEANT THAT ASL WASN'T
JUST MEANT FOR THE DORM ONLY,

THAT IT COULD BE BROUGHT
INTO THE CLASSROOM AS WELL.

AND I REALLY LIKED THAT,
BUT I WAS CONFUSED

BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE
FITTING IN WITH MY DEAF PEERS

WHO FELT THAT IT WASN'T
A TRUE STATEMENT.

WELL, FINALLY, I JOINED
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF.

I HAD WRITTEN POETRY
BEFORE THAT TIME,

BUT I LET IT KIND OF FALL
BY THE WAYSIDE AND BURIED IT.

A COUPLE YEARS AGO, MY MOTHER
SENT ME SOME POEMS

THAT SHE FOUND OF MINE.

OOH! IT WAS PRETTY INTERESTING.

ONE OF THEM
WAS VERY IMPORTANT

'CAUSE IT SHOWED
HOW I WROTE AT THE TIME.

LET ME SHOW IT TO YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, WHAT THIS MEANT TO ME

WAS THAT I SEEMED TO
BE FEELING PRIDE INSIDE.

NOW, IN THE SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF,
I'D BEEN SORT OF BRAINWASHED

THAT ENGLISH WAS THE WAY TO GO,
IT WAS THE ONLY THING TO DO,

AND I FELT THIS GROWING SENSE
OF INFERIORITY INSIDE

AS I STRUGGLED WITH
THESE TWO THINGS.

BUT THIS POEM SEEMS TO POINT TO
A SENSE OF DAWNING PRIDE INSIDE.

OF COURSE, I WAS TRYING
TO WRITE ENGLISH MORE.

AND I WAS TRYING TO MAKE
THOSE LAST LITTLE WORDS

RHYME AT THE END
OF EACH SENTENCE.

"EYES" AND "SKIES"...

"SCHOOL"--WELL, HMM,
KIND OF WITH "SOUL"...

"PROCLAIM" AND "AIM."

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

HMM, SORT OF.

BUT YOU GET THE IDEA?

NOW, I THOUGHT I WAS
DOING REALLY WELL,

BUT STILL, THEY WOULDN'T PUBLISH
IT IN THE SCHOOL JOURNAL.

I KEPT ON GOING
WITH THIS STRUGGLE INSIDE,

AND THEN I JOINED NATIONAL
THEATRE OF THE DEAF.

NOW, AT THAT TIME...

IT WASN'T REALLY THOUGHT
THAT PROFESSIONAL--

THAT DEAF PEOPLE COULD BECOME
PROFESSIONAL ACTORS.

AND WHEN THIS WAS SET UP,
IT WAS SO EXCITING.

NATIONAL THEATRE
OF THE DEAF WAS SET UP,

AND 3 YEARS LATER,
I JOINED.

"HOW OLD WAS I AT THE TIME?"
IS THE QUESTION?

QUESTION JUST CAME
FROM THE AUDIENCE--

"HOW OLD WAS I WHEN I JOINED
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF?"

I WAS 27 YEARS OLD.

LET'S SEE...

I TAUGHT DEAF CHILDREN
FOR 3 YEARS

BEFORE I JOINED.

AND REMEMBER, I WAS BRAINWASHED
BECAUSE I'D BEEN REQUIRED

TO LEARN ENGLISH, AND THAT WAS
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING,

SO THAT'S WHAT I WAS
PASSING ON, TOO.

AND I JUST FELT THIS
CONFLICT SO STRONGLY.

IT SEEMED TO BE
PASSING IT ON.

I TAUGHT FOR 3 YEARS
AND WAS INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED,

AND THEN I WENT TO SCHOOL
TO BECOME A PRIEST,

TO THE SEMINARY.

THEY WERE ALL HEARING
IN THE SEMINARY,

AND I WAS THE ONLY
DEAF PERSON.

AND IT WAS SO UNLIKE MY
DEAF SCHOOL EXPERIENCE.

IT WAS AS IF NATIONAL THEATRE
OF THE DEAF, WHEN I JOINED IT,

WAS LIKE ANOTHER
INSTITUTE FOR THE DEAF,

BECAUSE ALL THE
ACTORS WERE DEAF.

MOST OF US HAD DEAF PARENTS,
AND SO WE HAD THIS EXCITING

LINEAGE TO PASS DOWN
AND SHARE AMONGST US.

THERE WERE A FEW HEARING PEOPLE
INVOLVED IN THE THEATER

WHO WERE VOICE ACTORS FOR US.

BUT WHEN WE ACTED ON THE STAGE,

I DID PRETTY MUCH
EXACTLY WHAT I'D DONE

WITH WHAT I PREVIOUSLY SHOWED
YOU WITH "RICHARD COREY"

AND ALSO WITH "NOT
WAVING, BUT DROWNING."

WE SIGNED VERY, VERY
CLOSE TO ENGLISH.

THE REASON BEING THAT THE VOICE
ACTORS, FOR THE MOST PART,

WEREN'T VERY SKILLED SIGNERS.

THEY HADN'T REALLY LEARNED IT
VERY WELL YET.

SO, WE HAD TO SIGN
PRETTY CLOSE TO ENGLISH

SO THAT THEY COULD FOLLOW US.

THE AUDIENCE WAS COMPRISED
MOSTLY OF HEARING PEOPLE,

ABOUT 85%, WHO WERE
WATCHING THE PERFORMANCES.

AND THAT'S WHY THE NATIONAL
THEATRE OF THE DEAF, NTD,

ADOPTED THE PHILOSOPHY OF
HEARING AND SEEING EACH WORD.

WE DIDN'T KNOW IF THIS
WAS WRONG OR RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, WE'D BEEN
BROUGHT UP THIS WAY,

TAUGHT TO ACCEPT IT, SO WE JUST
FOLLOWED ALONG WITH IT.

BUT STRANGELY ENOUGH,

THE 8th YEAR THAT I WAS WITH
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF,

THE DIRECTOR, DAVID HAYES--
SIGN, THIS ON THE SHOULDER,

"H" ON THE SHOULDER--

HE DIDN'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT DEAF CULTURE,

BUT INTERNALLY, I THINK, PERHAPS
IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD,

EVEN BESIDES THIS PHILOSOPHY
THEY'D ADOPTED,

HE WAS CURIOUS ABOUT
WHAT WAS GOING ON.

HE CAME UP TO ME ONE DAY
AND SAID, "EXCUSE ME.

"WOULD YOU MIND
PERFORMING A MONOLOGUE?

"I'D LIKE YOU TO DO
AN EXCERPT FROM

'ON THE HARMFULNESS
OF TOBACCO.'"

AND I THOUGHT, "THAT'S STRANGE.
'ON' SHOULD BE 'ABOUT.'

"ANYWAY, IT SHOULDN'T BE
'ON THE HARMFULNESS OF TOBACCO.'

IT SHOULD BE 'ABOUT.'"
ANYWAY...

BUT THAT WAS THE OFFICIAL
TITLE OF THE MONOLOGUE--

"ON THE HARMFULNESS
OF TOBACCO."

BUT DAVID HAYES SAID,
"NOW, I WANT TO TELL YOU.

"WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO
IS TO GO PRACTICE ALONE,

"ALL BY YOURSELF.

"JUST WITH THE VOICE ACTOR,
JUST THE TWO OF YOU,

PLUS THE DIRECTOR"--WHO DIDN'T
KNOW ANY SIGN LANGUAGE AT ALL--

"AND ALSO WITH AN INTERPRETER,
THE FOUR OF YOU.

"NOW, I DON'T WANT ANY OF
THE OTHER DEAF ACTORS

"TO HELP YOU
WITH YOUR TRANSLATIONS.

"ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN--
JUST THE FOUR OF YOU

SEQUESTERED ALONE
TO WORK ON THIS."

I WASN'T REALLY SURE
WHAT HIS POINT WAS.

AND THEN HE SAID,
"I WANT YOU TO SIGN

JUST LIKE YOU SIGN
IN THE DINING ROOM."

AND I DIDN'T REALLY
UNDERSTAND WHAT HE MEANT.

"SIGN LIKE I DO
IN THE DINING ROOM?

OH, LIKE, WELL, I THINK
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL ASL."

AND I DON'T THINK I WAS
REALLY READY TO SHOW THAT

IN PUBLIC TO ANYBODY.

YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?

WELL...

I WAS A GOOD BOY.

I DEFERRED TO AUTHORITY
ONCE MORE.

AND SO I WENT AND PRACTICED.

AND I DIDN'T REALLY THINK

I WAS VERY SKILLED AT
TRANSLATING BACK THEN,

BUT I TOOK THE ENGLISH,

AND I TRANSLATED
AS BEST I COULD INTO ASL

OR I TRIED TO, AT ANY RATE.

IT WAS A VERY SLOW PROCESS.

WE WENT INTO A LARGE BARN
WHERE I WOULD REHEARSE.

THE DIRECTOR WOULD BE
SITTING THERE.

SINCE HE DIDN'T KNOW
ANY SIGN LANGUAGE,

OFTEN, HE WOULD JUST
NOD OFF TO SLEEP.

SO I REALLY WASN'T SIGNING
TO MANY PEOPLE.

THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE
WHO WAS REALLY WATCHING ME

WAS THE INTERPRETER,
WHOSE PARENTS WERE DEAF,

AND SHE REALLY ENJOYED
WATCHING ME.

THE DIRECTOR WAS ASLEEP,
THE INTERPRETER'S WATCHING ME,

AND THE VOICE ACTOR REALLY
DIDN'T KNOW ANY SIGNS

BUT WAS TRYING TO FOLLOW ME.

WAS A VERY, VERY GOOD
ACTOR, BY THE WAY,

BUT HE HAD TO TRY TO FOLLOW
WHAT I WAS DOING IN ASL.

IT WAS A 5-WEEK EXPERIENCE
THAT TENDED TO BE VERY LONELY.

I HAD TO PRACTICE IN THE
AFTERNOON BY MYSELF

AND THEN GO EAT
WITH MY OTHER PEERS,

THE OTHER ACTORS, FOR AN HOUR
OR PRACTICE A GROUP PRODUCTION,

AND THEN GO BACK
AND BE ALONE.

WELL, OPENING NIGHT
FINALLY ARRIVED,

AND MY KNEES WERE KNOCKING
LIKE YOU COULDN'T BELIEVE,

BECAUSE THIS WAS
THE FIRST TIME

I'D PUBLICLY DISPLAYED
MY TRANSLATION WORK.

I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA
PRIOR TO THAT I'D BE DOING IT.

NOW, OF COURSE, WHO DID I THINK
WERE GONNA BE MY WORST CRITICS?

THE DEAF ACTORS SITTING
IN THE AUDIENCE, MY PEERS.

THOSE WERE THE ONES
THAT I WAS TERRIFIED OF.

THE HEARING PEOPLE--

THEY WOULDN'T KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE ANYWAY.

SO, I STILL REMEMBER. I STARTED
TO SIGN THIS MONOLOGUE.

AND I NOTICE, SITTING
IN THE AUDIENCE THERE,

A REAL THRILL
WAVING THROUGH THE CROWD.

PEOPLE WERE CRYING WITH ME.

PEOPLE WERE LAUGHING WITH ME
AS I PERFORMED.

THE HEARING PEOPLE SEEMED TO
REALLY BE ENJOYING IT.

BUT INSIDE OF ME, THE EMOTIONS
THAT I FELT WELLING UP WITHIN ME

WERE JUST COMING TO THE SURFACE
SO RAPIDLY AND SO EASILY,

I FELT LIKE I COULD
REALLY ENJOY

THIS AMAZING SURFACING
OF EMOTION AND ACTING

THAT WAS HAPPENING.

I FELT LIKE A NEWBORN BABY
AND THEN JUST LEARNING TO WALK.

IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL
EXPERIENCE. I ENJOYED IT.

AS I LOOK BACK,

MAYBE MY TRANSLATIONS
WEREN'T EXACTLY ASL.

PERHAPS YOU COULD
CALL THEM PSE--

PIDGIN SIGNED ENGLISH, MAYBE.

IT WASN'T ENGLISH, BUT IT
WAS SLIDING OVER TOWARDS ASL,

MAYBE RIGHT AROUND THE MIDDLE

OR A LITTLE BIT OVER
TOWARDS THE ASL SIDE.

NOW, DURING THAT TIME, THE
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF,

A FEW PEOPLE CAME
UP TO ME AND SAID,

"OH! IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU'VE GOT TO TALK

"ABOUT ASL AND DEAF CULTURE.

THIS IS REALLY MONUMENTAL."

NOW, REMEMBER, I'D BEEN
BRAINWASHED FOR SO LONG,

SO LONG OF A TIME

THAT I WASN'T QUITE READY
TO ACCEPT THIS.

I LEFT NATIONAL TECHNICAL INST--
NATIONAL THEATRE OF THE DEAF,

AND THEN I CAME HERE

TO NATIONAL TECHNICAL INSTITUTE
OF THE DEAF--NTID.

AT THAT TIME, BOSTON HAD
A LARGE SYMPOSIUM CALLED

"THE NATIONAL SYMPOSIUM ON SIGN
LANGUAGE, RESEARCH, TEACHING."

THAT WAS A BIG CONFERENCE, AND
THEY INVITED ME TO GO TO THAT

AND GIVE THAT SAME MONOLOGUE
BY THE RUSSIAN AUTHOR

THAT I'D DONE BEFORE.

THERE WAS NOT GONNA BE
ANY VOICE INTERPRETER.

IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE ME.

THAT MEANT THAT ALL
THE HEARING PEOPLE

WHO CAME TO THAT PARTICULAR
PERFORMANCE KNEW SIGN LANGUAGE.

SO, IT WAS NOT
GONNA BE ANY PROBLEM

FOR THE AUDIENCE
TO UNDERSTAND.

I HAD THIS LITTLE TINY VOICE
INSIDE OF ME SAYING,

"OH, SHOULD I GO FAST?
SHOULD I GO SLOW?"

AND I JUST WAVED THAT VOICE
ASIDE AND THOUGHT,

"LET'S JUST GO FOR IT."
I FELT LIBERATED.

I WAS VERY NERVOUS,
OF COURSE.

I WASN'T OVER THAT ASPECT.

AND I REALLY WASN'T
AS COGNIZANT

ABOUT ALL THE
LINGUISTICS OF ASL,

BUT I REALLY ENJOYED
GOING IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE

AND GIVING THIS PERFORMANCE.

IT WAS SO EASY TO EMOTE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THESE EXCERPTS.

OK. THE STORY BEHIND
THIS MONOLOGUE

IS THAT A MAN, WHOSE WIFE ASKED
HIM TO GO AND GIVE A LECTURE

TO THE LADIES' CLUB
OF THE TOWN,

TALKING ABOUT HOW BAD
TOBACCO WAS

AND THAT YOU SHOULD STOP.

SO, WHEN THE MAN ARRIVED
AT THE LADIES' CLUB,

HIS WIFE HAD NOT YET GOTTEN
THERE, AND HE THOUGHT WHAT

HE'D DO IS TALK ABOUT
HIS WIFE BEHIND HER BACK,

MAKE FUN OF HER.

HE KEPT ON LOOKING
OVER HIS SHOULDER,

HOPING THAT HIS WIFE
HADN'T SHOWN UP.

HE DIDN'T WANT TO EXPLAIN

ABOUT THE HARMFULNESS
OF TOBACCO AT ALL.

HE'D START WITH THAT,

AND THEN HE'D START
CUTTING UP ON HIS WIFE.

NOW, THIS IS THE ENGLISH,
AND I TRIED TO TRANSLATE IT.

THAT WOMAN?

OOH, SUFFERS FROM RHEUMATISM.

AND SHE GOES AROUND
IN THAT YELLOW DRESS

WITH BLACK BLOTCHES,

SO SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S
COVERED WITH COCKROACHES.

ENGLISH, YOU THINK?

YEAH? RIGHT? NONE? OK.

SECOND EXCERPT.

WE LIVE IN HOUSE
NUMBER THIRTEEN,

AND ALL MY DAUGHTERS
WERE BORN ON THE 13th.

AND OUR HOUSE HAS 13 WINDOWS.

AND THE THIRD EXCERPT...

MY DAUGHTERS--OH! THEY WENT
INTO RAPTURES OVER IT,

ESPECIALLY THE PART
ABOUT THE BEDBUGS.

BUT I JUST READ IT.
I READ IT THROUGH

AND TORE IT TO PIECES.

[APPLAUSE]

OK, YOU CAN SEE THE
EVOLUTION THERE, CAN'T YOU?

IS THAT POETRY?

OR NOT POETRY?

THAT'S NOT A POEM?

WELL, I TRANSLATED IT
AND SIGNED IT IN ASL.

I DON'T KNOW.

NOW, PETER COOK--
OH, HIS QUESTION?

OK.

THE SIGNS THEMSELVES LOOK LIKE
THEY WERE POETIC IN MOVEMENT.

NOW, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT
MY EXPERIENCES OVER THE YEARS

SEEM TO HAVE TAUGHT ME

TO AGREE WITH WHAT PETER COOK
SAID THIS MORNING...

THAT DEAF PEOPLE REALLY
SHY AWAY FROM POETRY

AND TEND TO BE VERY, VERY
HOSTILE TOWARDS THE WHOLE IDEA.

THE REASON BEING THAT YOU'RE
TAUGHT IN THE SCHOOLS

THAT YOU HAVE TO LEARN ENGLISH,

YOU HAVE TO TRY
TO UNDERSTAND ENGLISH

AND STRUGGLE WITH THAT
ALL YOUR LIFE.

POETRY? UGH! GET OUT!

NOW, IF A PERSON STANDS
AND EXPLAINS IT,

OK, THAT'S ENGLISH
POETRY, RIGHT.

ASL POETRY IS A MORE EXPRESSIVE,
MORE SIGNING MODE, RIGHT.

I THOUGHT POETRY
JUST MEANT ENGLISH,

AND I WAS WRONG.

EACH COUNTRY
HAS THEIR OWN POETRY.

EACH CULTURE HAS
THEIR OWN POETRY.

IN JAPAN, IN ENGLAND,
IN SWITZERLAND, IN AFRICA,

THEY ALL HAVE THEIR POETRY
AND THEIR LANGUAGE.

NOW, BUT WHEN I GREW UP
IN THE SCHOOLS FOR THE DEAF,

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

I HAVE A VERY STRONG BELIEF
THAT THE SCHOOLS FOR THE DEAF

FIRST SHOULD TEACH THE CHILDREN
THEIR OWN DEAF LANGUAGE.

TEACH THEM THAT, TO ENJOY AND
LEARN AND APPRECIATE POETRY

AND STORYTELLING AND
HISTORY AND EVERYTHING.

AND THEN, IF THEY WANT TO
LEARN FOREIGN LANGUAGE,

LET 'EM LEARN ENGLISH
AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

I THINK THEY'D ENJOY IT
SO MUCH MORE THEN,

AND THEN THEY WOULDN'T BELIEVE
THE SIGNING IS WRONG.

I SUSPECT THAT'S WHY MANY
SCHOOLS FOR THE DEAF HAVE TO

REALLY BE PATIENT AND SUFFER
THROUGH WHAT'S GOING ON NOW.

THE DEAF TEACHERS INSIDE
ARE STILL GOING THROUGH

THE SAME TURMOIL THAT
I EXPERIENCED BEFORE.

THEY WANT TO TEACH ENGLISH,

BUT THEY WANT TO BE FREE TO SIGN
IN THEIR OWN PRECIOUS ASL.

A LARGE PERCENTAGE
OF DEAF TEACHERS

ARE LEAVING THE FIELD NOW.

IT'S DWINDLING DOWN,
AND WHAT'S LEFT

AT THE DEAF SCHOOLS NOW
ARE HEARING TEACHERS.

THERE'S ONLY ABOUT...

7% OF DEAF TEACHERS NOW.

BEFORE, IT WAS AT LEAST 40%
OR 50%, BUT IT'S DIMINISHING

AT AN ALARMING RATE.

MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THE ECONOMICS OF IT

AND HOW MUCH
THEY CAN BE PAID,

BUT THE DEAF TEACHERS SEEM TO BE
ESCAPING THAT PROFESSION.

THEY DIDN'T WANT
TO BE BURDENED

WITH THAT
RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE.

IF DEAF CHILDREN KNEW
THAT THEY COULD

EXPRESS THEMSELVES IN POETRY,
MAYBE THEY'D UTILIZE THAT MORE

AND FEEL MORE FREE
TO SHOW IT.

ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, A DEAF
PERSON, FRIEND OF MINE,

CAME TO VISIT ME.

THE TWO OF US HAVE BEEN FRIENDS
FOR A VERY LONG TIME,

AND WE WERE CHATTING--

...TO ME.

AND I CAN'T EXACTLY
MATCH WHAT SHE SAID,

BUT HERE'S A FACSIMILE.

OK. IN YOUR LIVER,

SUPPOSE IN YOUR LIVER
LIVES THIS LITTLE PERSON.

AND THIS LITTLE PERSON'S JOB
IS TO SHOVEL AND SHOVEL

AND WAIT AND WAIT FOR THE FOOD
TO COME DOWN THE GULLET

AND LAND IN THAT LIVER.

AND WHAT THEY DO IS, THEY TILL
THE SOIL WITH THAT SHOVEL,

AND THEY MIX IT UP AND
AROUND AND EVERYTHING,

TURN IT INTO SUGAR,

AND SEND IT THROUGH THE BODY
TO BE METABOLIZED.

WELL, SOMETIMES A LITTLE
PERSON WAITS DOWN THERE

WITH THEIR SHOVEL,

AND ALL THAT COMES DOWN IS
COOKIES AND ICE CREAM AND CAKE.

WELL, THE LITTLE PERSON IN THERE
THINKS THAT'S CHEAP SUGAR.

IT'S NOT SOMETHING THEY CAN
REALLY PLAY WITH AND DEAL WITH

WITH THAT SOIL.

SO, THEY JUST STAND ASIDE
AND LET THAT GO PASS

RIGHT ON THROUGH THE BODY.

BUT WHEN THERE'S POTATOES AND
STARCHES AND GOOD THINGS,

THE LITTLE PERSON
SHOVELS AGAIN

AND THEN THE BODY HAS
ENOUGH SUGAR TO FUNCTION.

AND THAT'S HYPOGLYCEMIA.

[LAUGHTER]

OH HO!

THAT...

I FEEL THAT DEAF PEOPLE
ARE SO SKILLED AT ANALOGIES

AND COMPARISONS--
REALLY ADEPT AT IT.

THAT, FOR ME, IS POETRY.

NOW, IT'S NOT EXACTLY
A POEM THAT'S WRITTEN OUT

IN NICE, NEAT STANZAS
AND PHRASES THAT YOU STAND

AND YOU MEMORIZE
IN THAT PARTICULAR WAY

AND THAT YOU TRY TO
DO IN ENGLISH,

BUT IT'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

FREDA NORMAN,

WHO'S SITTING
IN OUR AUDIENCE,

I'D ASKED HER A COUPLE WEEKS
AGO ABOUT SOMETHING,

AND SHE SAID SHE REMEMBERED
A LONG TIME AGO

WHEN SHE WAS IN THE
SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF

THAT SHE WAS A SUPERVISOR.

SOMETIMES, I REMEMBER--

SHE REMEMBERED DIFFERENT DEAF
PREACHERS, WHO WERE ITINERANT,

WHO WOULD COME FROM SCHOOL TO
SCHOOL AND GIVE THEIR SERMONS.

SHE REMEMBERED THAT,
AS WE WERE TALKING,

'CAUSE I THINK I'D
EXPERIENCED THAT, TOO.

AND ONE DAY, THEY WERE
TALKING ABOUT WHAT HEAVEN WAS,

HOW YOU GOT INTO HEAVEN.

IT'S LIKE WALKING DOWN A ROAD,

AND IN YOUR ARMS,
YOU CARRY A BROWN BAG.

YOU TRUDGE THIS ROAD,
AND AS YOU NEAR HEAVEN,

YOU LAY THIS BAG ASIDE.

THAT BAG IS YOUR BODY,

AND WHAT'S LEFT WITHOUT
THE BODY IS THE SOUL,

AND THAT'S WHAT ENTERS HEAVEN.

SEE? THAT'S AN ANALOGY,
A COMPARISON.

A THIRD EXAMPLE...

IS PRAYER.

WHAT DOES PRAYER MEAN?
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN IT?

WELL, IT'S LIKE YOUR MIND AND
YOUR HEART ARE ALWAYS SO BUSY

AND CONVOLUTED, FULL WITH
CONNIPTIONS AND PLANS.

IT'S LIKE A TV SCREEN,
AND THE SIGNAL'S ALL SCRAMBLED

AND CONVOLUTED.

BUT WHEN IT CLEARS,

THE PICTURE IS SOMETHING
YOU CAN ENJOY AND BE VIVID.

AND WHEN THE MIND AND THE HEART
CLEAR OF ALL THEIR TURMOIL,

THEN THERE'S A CLEAR,
DIRECT LINK TO GOD,

AND THAT'S PRAYER.

SEE? IT'S IN PICTURES
AND IMAGES.

NOW, THE REASON THAT
I SHOWED THOSE 3 EXAMPLES...

OH, JUST RECENTLY,
JUST A FEW YEARS AGO,

1984, FEBRUARY 1st--

IT'S AN IMPORTANT DATE.
WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

ALLEN GINSBERG
AND ROBERT PANARA CAME, RIGHT.

AND WE ENDED UP--I ENDED UP
DOING "THE HYDROGEN JUKEBOX."

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU SAW THAT THIS MORNING.

NOW, YOU KNOW,
BEFORE THAT TIME,

IF YOU TOLD ME THAT I WOULD
STAND IN FRONT OF ALLEN--

WITH ALLEN GINSBERG SOMEDAY AND
TALK ABOUT "HYDROGEN JUKEBOX"...

POOO!

I DON'T THINK I WOULD
HAVE BELIEVED YOU.

BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

HOW DID I ARRIVE
AT THAT POINT?

HOW DID I GET
FROM WHERE I'D BEGUN

TO WHAT IMPACTED ME SO
STRONGLY AT THAT TIME?

ALLEN GINSBERG PERMITTED ME
TO SIGN THAT, AND HE SAID,

"THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT."

AND INSIDE, SOMETHING WAS BORN.

TRANSLATION WORK, AND I WAS
BEING LAUDED FOR IT.

HMM...

NOW, AT THE SAME TIME,

I MET THIS MAN WITH
LONG HAIR, NAMED JIM,

AND HE SAID HE WAS A POET

AND ASKED ME IF I WAS
INTERESTED IN POETRY.

AND I THOUGHT, "OH, HE'S JUST
IMPRESSED BY ALL DEAF PEOPLE.

HE THINKS, 'ISN'T YOUR
SIGN LANGUAGE PRETTY?'"

I THOUGHT HE WAS
JUST LIKE THE REST.

HE WANTED TO DEVELOP THIS GROUP
CALLED THE BIRD'S BRAIN SOCIETY

IN THE CELLAR,
WHICH IS A BAR HERE--

USED TO BE CALLED THE CELLAR
HERE AT RIT/NTID.

SO I SAID, "FINE.
I'LL GO SIT IN ON IT."

NOW, I'D SEEN
PETER COOK SIGN BEFORE,

BUT WHEN I SAW HIM
AT THE BIRD'S BRAIN SOCIETY,

WOW...

THE POETRY WAS RIGHT THERE.

THERE IT WAS.

AND THEN DEBBIE RENNIE.
SHE, TOO, PERFORMED THERE.

AND THEN IT WAS MY TURN.
I WANTED TO.

OOH, AND I HAD TO GET
SOMETHING TOGETHER.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT.

I TRANSLATED ENGLISH INTO ASL,

AND I WAS GETTING
MORE AND MORE FACILE AT THAT.

BUT INSIDE, I FELT LIKE

I STILL WASN'T EXPRESSING
MYSELF VERY WELL.

I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU
THIS POEM NOW

THAT'S THE FIRST EFFORT
THAT I MADE IN TRANSLATION.

NOW, MY WAY IS A LITTLE BIT
DIFFERENT THAN PETER COOK.

REMEMBER, I GREW UP TRANSLATING
AND TRANSLATING AND TRANSLATING

ENGLISH TO ASL.

NOW, FOR THIS POEM,

WHAT I TRIED TO DO
WAS SIGN IT FIRST

AND THEN WRITE IT DOWN
IN ENGLISH LATER,

THUS, REVERSING THE PROCESS.

I WAS TEACHING A CLASS
AT THE TIME AT NTID

CALLED "CREATIVE
TRANSLATION IN SIGN,"

MEANING THAT WE WOULD WRITE
IN ENGLISH, AND THEN LATER,

WE'D TRANSLATE INTO ASL.

SO, THIS ONE DAY, I TOLD
MY STUDENTS IN THE CLASS,

"OK, NOW I WANT YOU
TO COME UP WITH A POEM

"IN SIGN LANGUAGE FIRST.

"DON'T EVEN WORRY
ABOUT THE ENGLISH.

"JUST COME UP WITH
THE POEM FIRST.

OK? YOU GOT A COUPLE
WEEKS TO DO IT."

NOW, YOU SEE,
I WAS THE TEACHER,

AND I REALLY NEEDED TO PRACTICE
WHAT I PREACHED, I GUESS,

SO I KIND OF PAINTED
MYSELF INTO A CORNER.

OOH, FOR A WEEK, I REALLY
WENT INTO CONNIPTIONS

TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

I PLAYED WITH SIGNS,

AND I WAS ONE TIME STANDING IN
THE CU WAITING TO MEET A FRIEND

TO GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT,

AND I WAS LETTING
MY MIND WANDER.

AND I NOTICED IN THE HIGH
CORNER OF THE BUILDING

A BALLOON THAT WAS STUCK.

MAYBE THERE'D BEEN SOME SORT
OF PARTY OR CELEBRATION,

AND THE BALLOON HAD FLOATED UP
AND BECOME LODGED

IN THE CORNER
OF THE BUILDING.

I LOOKED AT THAT
AND LOOKED AT IT.

AND THEN THE WORLD SEEMED
TO JUST FADE AWAY,

AND ALL THAT WAS LEFT WAS MYSELF
STARING AT THAT BALLOON,

MULLING OVER THE IMAGE
UNTIL THIS POEM WAS BORN.

I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU NOW.

MAYBE I FORGOT IT.

OH, WELL. IT SEEMS I FORGOT
THE OVERHEAD TRANSPARENCY.

WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER,
THE WORDS FIRST OR THE SIGN?

WANT TO SEE THE SIGN FIRST?
WHOA! OVERWHELMING MAJORITY.

THIS IS CALLED "THE SURPRISE."

I'M IMAGINING
A MENTAL CLEAR PICTURE.

THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL,
DIMINUTIVE AND CUTE.

A BALLOON HELD--
PURPLE AND SQUEEZABLE.

I LET MY BALLOON GROW SO TALL

UNTIL IT'S STOPPED
BY THE STRING.

I TIE THAT STRING AROUND
MY RING FINGER.

SHE PULLS THE TOY DOWN
AND LETS IT SOAR OFF.

SO DOES THE STRING.

FAREWELL, FAREWELL.

THAT BALLOON PURPLE PULLS
THE STRING.

AND THIS STRING PULLS
MY MIND PICTURE AWAY.

[APPLAUSE]

OK. WANT TO SEE THE WORDS--
THAT I LATER WROTE DOWN?

OK, NOW I'LL PUT THIS
IN ENGLISH FOR YOU.

THAT WAS "THE SURPRISE."

"I'M IMAGINING A MENTAL CLEAR
PICTURE.

THERE'S A GIRL"--

BIG WORD HERE--

"DIMINUTIVE AND CUTE.

A BALLOON HELD--
PURPLE AND SQUEEZABLE."

"I LET MY BALLOON GROW SO TALL

"TILL IT'S STOPPED
BY THE STRING.

I TIE THAT AROUND
MY RING FINGER."

SHE PULLS THE TOY DOWN,
LETS IT SOAR OFF.

SO DOES THE STRING.

FAREWELL AND FAREWELL.

THE BALLOON PURPLE
PULLS THE STRING.

AND THIS STRING PULLS
THE VISUAL PICTURE AWAY.

SO WHICH DO YOU PREFER,
THE SIGNED VERSION

OR THE ENGLISH VERSION?

THE SIGNED! IT SEEMED
EVERYBODY AGREES.

WELL, I HAVE MORE.
I HAVE SEVERAL.

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO SHARE THAT
WITH YOU NOW.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO COME OVER

TO THE NTID THEATER
TOMORROW NIGHT

AND SEE THE PERFORMANCE PART
FOR THE POETRY.

NOW I'VE SORT OF GIVEN YOU
THIS HISTORY OF MYSELF.

AND AS FOR FUTURE EVENTS
AND WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN,

THAT I CAN'T REALLY FORESEE.

AS I MEET MORE AND MORE
DEAF POETS

AND I HAVE MORE INFORMATION
SHARED WITH ME

AND THAT I SHARE WITH OTHERS,
IT'S HARD TO FORESEE

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
IN THE FUTURE.

I KNOW THAT IT'S A POSITIVE
EXPERIENCE, DEFINITELY.

AND ESPECIALLY
FOR DEAF CHILDREN,

I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO INSTILL
A SENSE OF PRIDE IN THEM.

NO LONGER THIS HORRIBLE SENSE
OF INFERIORITY.

I KNOW THAT'S GOING TO LESSEN.

THEY'LL HAVE MORE AND MORE OF
A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE

AND MORE ESTEEM.

AND ENGLISH AND ASL WILL BE
ACCEPTED AS EQUIVALENTS.

POETRY IN ENGLISH IS FINE,

AND POETRY IN ASL IS GROWING.
IT'S RISING.

IT'S BECOMING PRINTED IN BOOKS,
IN VIDEOTAPES, AND EXPANDING.

AND IT'S GOING TO GET
BETTER AND BETTER. THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]

...ASKING ME.

OK, HE IS ASKING ME,

I WAS RECENTLY TALKING ABOUT
HOW MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

TO READ AND WRITE ENGLISH,

BUT MY MOTHER WASN'T REALLY
A SKILLED SIGNER,

SO HOW WAS I ABLE TO LEARN
FROM HER?

OK. WHEN I WAS 10--WELL,
ACTUALLY I WANT TO BACK UP.

I WENT TO SCHOOL WHEN I WAS 5.

SO 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
I WAS READING AND WRITING.

I WAS MEMORIZING THINGS
AND PROCESSING THINGS,

BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL 10 THAT I
WAS REALLY FULLY UNDERSTANDING.

I'D GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND SEE
MY MOTHER,

AND SHE WAS MAKING
AN ANGEL FOOD CAKE ONE DAY,

WHIPPING IT UP.

SHE WAS REALLY BUSY MAKING THIS.

MAYBE IT WAS FOR A BIRTHDAY,
A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER WHY
SHE WAS DOING THIS.

I WENT UP TO HER, AND I SAID,
"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,

MOMMY."

AND SHE DECIDED WE WERE
PLAYING A SIGN GAME.

I SAID, "LET'S PLAY A GAME."

AND SO WE TRIED TO COME UP
WITH THIS GAME TOGETHER

THAT ALL OF US COULD PLAY.

MY MOTHER WAS BUSY, REMEMBER?

SO HOW WAS SHE GONNA DO BOTH
AT THE SAME TIME?

IT WAS IMPORTANT TO COUNT
HOW MANY STROKES SHOULD BE

IN THE ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

BECAUSE IF YOU DO IT WRONG,
OF COURSE,

IT'S GOING TO FALL IN THE OVEN.

SO SHE WAS SAYING,
"WAIT. WAIT. WAIT!"

"WE CAN PLAY YOUR OLD GAME.
PLAY ANOTHER GAME."

AND I SAID, "NO. I DON'T WANT
TO PLAY AN OLD GAME.

I WANT A NEW GAME. COME ON!"

SO SHE PUT THE CAKE DOWN,
THE CAKE BATTER DOWN.

AND WE WENT INTO THE FAMILY
ROOM, THE LIVING ROOM.

AND WE GOT OUT A BOOK CALLED
"BEAUTIFUL JOE."

AND THE FIRST SENTENCE SAID,
"MY NAME IS BEAUTIFUL JOE,

AND I AM A CUR."

CUR? I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANT.

WELL, THIS INFURIATED MY MOTHER
EVEN FURTHER,

SO THEN WE WENT
TO THE DICTIONARY.

"CUR." "WHAT'S IT SAY?"
"AN UGLY DOG." "AH! UGLY DOG."

AND SO I MATCHED
THE DICTIONARY MEANING

AND THE WORD IN THE BOOK.

"OH!" AND A LITTLE LIGHT
TURNED ON IN MY HEAD,

AND THEN I UNDERSTOOD.

"MY NAME IS BEAUTIFUL JOE,
AND I AM" AN UGLY DOG.

OOH! IT'S A NEW GAME.

SO I READ.

AND WHENEVER
I DIDN'T KNOW A WORD,

I WENT AND LOOKED IT UP IN
THE DICTIONARY, AND IT WAS FUN.

AND MAYBE MY MOTHER HAD PLANNED
TO TEACH ME THAT WAY.

I REALLY DON'T THINK SO, THOUGH.

WELL, SO THE SCHOOL WOULD ASK ME
TO WRITE ESSAYS SOMETIMES.

AND SO I WOULD BE WRITING

AND STRUGGLING WITH
WHAT TO WRITE DOWN.

I'D SHOW IT TO MY MOTHER,
AND SHE WOULD TELL ME.

AND SHE'D TAKE A RED PEN,

BUT SHE WOULDN'T MAKE
ANY CORRECTIONS.

SHE WOULD REALLY
JUST EXPLAIN TO ME

HOW TO REARRANGE THE WORDS
IN MORE GRAMMATICAL FORM.

SO I WOULD TRY TO WRITE,
AND IF I DID IT RIGHT,

SHE WOULD GIVE ME
POSITIVE FEEDBACK FOR IT.

IT WASN'T LIKE IN THE CLASSROOM

WHERE YOU GO AND THEY MARK IT
ALL UP WITH A RED PEN

AND TOTALLY DEFLATE YOUR EGO.

MY MOTHER WASN'T REALLY GOOD
IN SIGN,

BUT SHE WAS SUCCESSFUL IN
HER TEACHING METHODS FOR ME.

YES. OK. THE QUESTION IS,

AS I GREW UP, I WAS BRAINWASHED
IN ENGLISH, RIGHT?

AND WHEN I SIGNED, HOW DID I
KNOW IF THAT WAS ASL OR ENGLISH?

HOW DID I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

WELL, REALLY, AT GALLAUDET
COLLEGE, WHEN I WAS THERE,

THAT'S WHEN THIS FAMOUS
PROCLAMATION WAS MADE

ABOUT ASL BEING A REAL LANGUAGE,

AND THEY DEFINED ALL THE RULES
AND THE GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURE

AND THE SYNTAX.

THERE WERE MEETINGS, AND MANY
PEOPLE WERE THERE, LIKE ELLA,

AND I READ A LOT OF ARTICLES
AND SIGN LANGUAGE BOOKS

ABOUT THE TRANSFORMATIONAL
GRAMMAR INVOLVED.

AND I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT 100%,

BUT JUST MY GUT FEELING WAS
THAT THERE WAS

A COMFORTABILITY ABOUT IT.

AND I KNEW THAT'S WHAT WAS
HAPPENING.

MY EXPERIENCES WITH MEETING
DIFFERENT PEOPLE

MADE ME REALIZE IT, TOO.

AND THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT I FEEL

THAT CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN
ASL AS A LANGUAGE.

THEY SHOULD STUDY IT AND KNOW
THAT THEY HAVE A LANGUAGE

WITH RULES, WITH SYNTAX,

AND THEN THEY'LL HAVE A GROWING
SENSE OF PRIDE,

AND THEN LATER THEY CAN STUDY
ENGLISH EASIER.

IT'LL BE A LOT EASIER FOR THEM.

OK, THIS PERSON IS ASKING ME,

DID THE TEACHERS WHO TAUGHT ME
ENGLISH KNOW ANY ASL?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK TEACHERS WHO TEACH ASL
SHOULD BE BILINGUAL, DEFINITELY.

YOU ONLY LEARN ENGLISH THROUGH
ANOTHER NATIVE LANGUAGE

IF YOU'RE NOT
AN ENGLISH SPEAKER.

YOU COULD LEARN
IF YOU'RE SPANISH.

YOU COULD LEARN ENGLISH.

YOU COULDN'T LEARN ENGLISH
THROUGH FRENCH, COULD YOU?

SO YOU REALLY HAVE TO USE
YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE TO ATTAIN

A SECOND ONE.

I'M KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT--IS
YOUR VOICE OK? ARE YOU TIRED?

"I'M FINE. GO AHEAD."

OK. SHE SAYS SHE'S FINE,
"GO AHEAD."

OH. SHE'S ASKING ME,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
TEACH ASL FIRST?

HOW WOULD THEY LEARN
ENGLISH VOCABULARY?"

OK. FIRST--OK, WAIT A MINUTE.

FIRST YOU HAVE
TO ENJOY YOURSELF.

YOU HAVE TO ENJOY WHAT YOU ARE
AND WHO YOU ARE.

AND THEN IT'S EASIER TO EXPRESS
THINGS.

IF INSIDE YOU HAVE MANY
INTERNAL DOUBTS

AND DEMONS RAISING THEIR HEADS,

THEN IT'S REALLY HARD TO LET
SOME OF THESE OUT

AND EXPRESS YOURSELF, RIGHT?

NOW, CHILDREN ENJOY THEMSELVES
AND ENJOY EXPRESSING THEMSELVES.

THEN THEY CAN LEARN ENGLISH
AND INTERNALIZE IT.

VOCABULARY IS HARD,

BUT IT WOULDN'T BE TOO DIFFICULT
TO OVERCOME.

IT WOULD BE FUN.

IT WOULD BE LIKE A GAME TO PICK
UP NEW WORDS AND NEW VOCABULARY.

AND THEN THEIR UNDERSTANDING
WOULD REALLY BLOSSOM.

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE REALLY,
REALLY WONDERFUL

AND COGNIZANT OF ALL
THE VOCABULARY IN ENGLISH

IN ALL THE UNITED STATES?

"75%," YOU SAY?
NO! NOBODY KNOWS ALL OF IT.

NOBODY KNOWS ALL OF IT.

IT'S A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF
PEOPLE WHO ARE THAT ADEPT AT IT.

HAVE YOU READ A BOOK CALLED
"WHEN THE MIND HEARS"?

IT'S BY A GENTLEMAN NAMED
HARLAN LANE.

AS I WAS READING THE BOOK,
IT WAS TELLING THE STORY

ABOUT A TEACHER OF SIGN LANGUAGE
FROM 200 YEARS AGO.

ONLY 10% EVEN WENT INTO COLLEGE
AT THE TIME.

SO IT MEANS THAT THE SYSTEM
IS INCORRECT

IF STILL NOT EVEN
75% ATTEND COLLEGE.

THERE'S A QUESTION
WAY IN THE BACK.

OK, THE QUESTION IS,
AS I CREATE POEMS AND SIGN THEM

AND LATER WRITE THEM DOWN
IN ENGLISH,

DO I PREFER DOING IT THAT WAY?

OR DO I PREFER DOING IT
THE OTHER WAY AROUND?

NOW, A LONG TIME AGO,
WHAT I DID FIRST WAS

TO WRITE THEM IN ENGLISH
AND THEN LATER SIGN THEM.

BUT NOW I'VE REVERSED
THIS PROCESS,

AND I PREFER TO SIGN THEM FIRST
IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE OF ASL

WITHOUT HAVING TO BOTHER
WITH THE WRITTEN TRANSLATION.

I SIGN THEM UNTIL I'M CONTENT
WITH THE WAY I HAVE IT,

WITH FOLLOWING THE RULES OF ASL

AND CLASSIFIERS
AND HAND SHAPES AND EVERYTHING,

AND THEN I REFLECT ON WHAT
I'VE WRITTEN

AND TRY TO MATCH IT WITH
ENGLISH EQUIVALENTS.

AS I'VE WRITTEN THEM DOWN,
I CHANGE THEM OVER TIME.

I SOMETIMES WORK WITH
A HEARING INTERPRETER

BECAUSE, OF COURSE, ENGLISH IS
NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE,

BUT IT IS THEIRS.

IF I WORK WITH A HEARING PERSON,
THEY CAN MAKE SUGGESTIONS

ABOUT WHAT SOUNDS A LITTLE
BETTER.

SO IT'S MORE LIKE
A TEAM CONCEPT.

THAT WAY, WE CAN MELD
OUR TWO INTERESTS--OUR CULTURES

AND OUR LANGUAGES TOGETHER.

THE HEARING PERSON CAN HELP ME
CHOOSE THE WORDS

IF I FEEL AT A LOSS FOR
THE VOCABULARY.

A HEARING PERSON MIGHT SAY,

"OH, THERE'S MAYBE
TOO MANY WORDS THERE.

"MAYBE YOU ONLY NEED
A COUPLE.

"MAYBE TWO WORDS ARE ENOUGH

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING SO MANY
IMAGES IN MIND

THAT THE AUDIENCE WILL READILY
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE DOING."

YOU SEE, I'M STILL LEARNING.

THAT SURPRISES ME ABOUT
THAT STATEMENT

THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO HAVE
AS MANY WORDS.

SOMETIMES I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
QUITE AS MUCH ABOUT IT,

AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
THAT SECOND LANGUAGE

WHEN I WRITE THEM IN MY FIRST.

OK, OK. OK. THANK YOU FOR
REMINDING ME.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO END MY TALK

ABOUT ASL TRANSLATION
AND POETRY, AND I FORGOT.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT
THIS ONE UP?

I DIDN'T HAVE THE THING
I WANTED TO END IT WITH.

OK, NOW, IF I SIGN IT NOW, DON'T
LOOK AT THAT PAGE, ALL RIGHT,

AS I SIGN IT.

WANT ME TO SHUT IT OFF?

NOBODY HEARD HIM, THE DEAD MAN,
BUT STILL HE LAY MOANING:

I WAS MUCH, MUCH FARTHER OUT
THAN YOU THOUGHT

AND NOT WAVING BUT DROWNING.

POOR CHAP,
HE ALWAYS LOVED LARKING.

AND NOW HE'S DEAD.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN
TOO COLD FOR HIM,

AND HIS HEART GAVE WAY,
THEY SAID.

NO, NO, NO,
IT WAS TOO COLD ALWAYS. STILL--

[APPLAUSE]

IT'S SO EXCITING TO BE HERE.

I'M FINALLY GOING
TO SHOW MY WORK TO ALL OF YOU.

AND IT'S SO INCREDIBLE TO SEE
OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK DISPLAYED

AND SHARED WITH EACH OTHER.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

I FEEL LIKE I'M A NEWBORN BABY,

AND IT'S REALLY
EXHILARATING FOR ME.

THE FIRST POEM THAT I'D LIKE
TO SHOW YOU--

I JUST RECENTLY CREATED
THIS POEM. IT'S BRAND-NEW.

REALLY, I DIDN'T WRITE IT DOWN.

I SHOULD SAY I JUST CREATED IT
IN SIGNS

JUST A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO.

I'VE BEEN INVOLVED
IN THIS CONFERENCE,

AND I COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP.

I WAS SO EXCITED.
"WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?

"I WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON.
I KNOW I'M TIRED.

"I WORKED ALL DAY TEACHING
AND DIRECTING A PLAY EVERY NIGHT

HERE AT NTID."

BUT THERE I LAY TOSSING
AND TURNING

AND STARING AT THE CEILING.

I LAY THERE WITH MY BLANKETS
ABOUT ME

AND THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF,

AND PRETENDED
THAT I COULD GO TO SLEEP,

BUT MY MIND WAS
WORKING OVERTIME.

WELL, FINALLY, THIS
POEM PRESENTED ITSELF TO ME.

I SIGNED IT.

AND LATER ON I WORKED WITH
MY INTERPRETER,

WHOSE NAME
IS MIRIAM NATHAN.

SHE WATCHED ME SIGN THIS,

AND THEN WE TALKED ABOUT IT.

OF COURSE, MY FIRST LANGUAGE IS
AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE,

AND MY CULTURE IS THAT OF
THE DEAF.

ENGLISH IS MIRIAM'S FIRST
LANGUAGE.

AND, OF COURSE, HER CULTURE
IS HEARING.

SO WE HAVE A NICE EXCHANGE
OF IDEAS.

AND IT WAS REALLY A DELIGHT
TO WORK TOGETHER,

AND I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU THIS.

IT'S CALLED "LIBERATION."

YOU COULD MAYBE SIGN IT AS
IF IT WERE

"FREEDOM"
OR "OPPRESSION BEGONE."

ENGLISH, ENGLISH, ENGLISH,
ENGLISH, ENGLISH, ENGLISH,

ENGLISH!

ENGLISH MANACLED MY HANDS.

FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM,

FREEDOM, FREEDOM
IN SIGNS.

WAIT. WAIT.

RECOGNITION, ACKNOWLEDGEMENT,

EQUALITY, COLLABORATION.

[APPLAUSE]

AND, REALLY, THAT'S HOW I FEEL
TONIGHT.

AS I GREW UP,
I REALLY EXPERIENCED

A TERRIBLE FEELING OF
INFERIORITY.

I FELT THAT THE ONLY WAY TO BE
A SUCCESS IN THE WORLD WOULD BE

TO USE PERFECT ENGLISH,
WHICH WASN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

NOW, OF COURSE, I'VE ALWAYS
RESPECTED ENGLISH.

AND NOW I FEEL THAT ASL IS
A PERFECT COUNTERPART TO IT.

IT'S PERFECTLY EQUAL.

AND MY POEMS TONIGHT THAT I'M
GOING TO SHOW YOU

REFLECT THINGS THAT I'VE THOUGHT
EVER SINCE I WAS SMALL

AND I GREW UP THINKING ABOUT.

ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO--MAYBE IT
WAS ABOUT 4 YEARS AGO--

A FRIEND OF MINE AND I DECIDED
TO GO TO NEW YORK

FOR THANKSGIVING VACATION.

AND WE WERE ENJOYING SEEING
THE SIGHTS.

ONE NIGHT THE TWO OF US WENT
TO THE PART OF NEW YORK CITY

CALLED LITTLE ITALY.

WE WERE WALKING ALONG
THE STREETS.

BEHIND THE SIDEWALK,
WE SAW A BAKERY.

THERE WAS A RESTAURANT
NEXT TO IT.

IN THE WINDOW WERE THE MOST
DELECTABLE-LOOKING CAKES. AHH!

OOH. THERE WAS THIS ONE CAKE
THAT I WOULD SAY IT WAS

ABSOLUTELY SINFUL!

IT WAS A DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE.

WE SALIVATED AND LOOKED AT
EACH OTHER AND THOUGHT,

"OH, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO IN
AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE."

SO WE WENT IN.

"WE'LL GO IN AND HAVE COFFEE,

AND THEN WE'LL GO BACK
TO THE HOTEL."

SO WE SAT AND WE ATE
AND WE CHATTED

AND DRANK OUR COFFEE
AND JUST TALKED THE NIGHT AWAY.

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

THEN WE WENT BACK TO OUR HOTEL,

WHERE WE WENT INTO
OUR RESPECTIVE BEDS.

WELL, MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT
LIKE A LIGHT IMMEDIATELY.

AND AS FOR ME,
I TOSSED AND TURNED.

OH! WHY DID I EAT THAT CAKE

AND HAVE THAT DARNED COFFEE WITH
ALL THAT CAFFEINE?

NOW I CAN'T SLEEP.

WELL, THERE I WAS.

AND THEN I STARTED PLAYING WITH
SOME SIGNS IN MY MIND,

AND THE RESULT WAS THIS POEM.

IT'S CALLED "THE PARADOX."

THE WOMAN--BLACK--SINGS A STORY.

WHILE POUNDING THE PIANO KEYS,
SHE SINGS:

 "WHERE'S MY MAN" 

 "THE MAN I LOVE?" 

THE KEYS, THOSE WHITE AND BLACK
IVORIES--UP, DOWN, UP AND DOWN.

AND SHE SINGS, AND SHE SINGS:

 "WHERE'S MY MAN" 

 "THAT MAN I LOVE?" 

WOMEN. WOMEN, ALL OVER,
SO MANY.

AND MEN, THE MEN AMONG THEM,
THEY WATCH THE SINGER WAILING:

 "WHERE'S THE MAN" 

 "WHERE'S THE MAN
I LOVE?" 

THE PIANO--BLACK AND WHITE--
MAKES A SOUNDLESS PAUSE.

WOMEN IN THE BLACK AND WHITE
ROOM RISE TO THEIR FEET

WITH THEIR MEN, CLAPPING
THEIR HANDS CONTINUOUSLY.

AND THE SINGER--BLACK--
GRINS AND BOWS.

THEN SHE WALKS TO MEET HER MAN.

WELL, FOR HER,
THE SONG IS ONLY A SONG.

THE INNER SONG ALWAYS
PESTERS ME.

 "WHERE'S MY MAN" 

 "THE MAN I LOVE?" 

MY MOTHER CAN HEAR AND CAN SIGN.

MY FATHER CAN HEAR
AND CAN'T SIGN.

THIS TRUE SONG INSIDE OF ME
PERSISTS, PERSISTS.

 "WHERE'S MY MAN" 

 "THE MAN I LOVE?" 

[APPLAUSE]

KIND OF HEAVY. I KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I'VE ALWAYS
KIND OF FELT

THIS OPPRESSING SENSE OF
INFERIORITY, I GUESS.

AND I THINK THAT ONCE IN
A WHILE, ALL PEOPLE FEEL THAT,

AND IT PLAGUES THEM
NOW AND AGAIN.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
HERE IN ROCHESTER,

THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE
VERY OFTEN, RIGHT?

RIGHT? WOULD YOU AGREE, DEBBIE?
I'D ASK YOU THAT QUESTION. OK.

SO IT'S A CONSENSUS.

A FEW YEARS AGO, I WAS SITTING
IN MY APARTMENT,

AND THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT
A RAY OF SUNSHINE.

I SAT THERE
WITH MY MUG OF COFFEE,

LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW JUST
RUMINATING ABOUT LIFE.

AND THIS POEM CAME TO MIND.

I THOUGHT I'D PLAY WITH
HAND SHAPES A LITTLE BIT

WITH IT.

AND THESE ARE THE HAND SHAPES
THAT I CHOSE TO USE.

YOU CAN USE IT FOR "HAPPY"
OR "SAD" OR "COME HERE."

ANYBODY KNOW ANY SIGNS THAT
WOULD BE LIKE THIS: "TROUBLE."

TROUBLE'S ONE SIGN
THAT USES THAT HAND SHAPE.

OTHERS? "FATHER."
FATHER'S ONE.

"PEACE." YEAH, THAT'S THE IDEA.

SO THESE ARE THE TWO HAND SHAPES
I CHOSE TO USE.

AND, ALSO, THESE.

THERE'S THREE IN ALL.

THIS POEM IS ENTITLED
"THE DISEASE."

MINDLESS, HEARTLESS,

AND DARK LIVES.

SUICIDE-PRONE.

ZEST FOR LIFE--WHERE?

THEY WALK ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT,

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THEY
DON'T KNOW.

HELLO-LESS, GOOD-BYE-LESS.

DARK LIVES.

LAUGH SELDOM, IF EVER.

CRY AT TIMES.

THEY GAZE AT NOTHING.

ALL DAY, ALL DAY, HOPING
FOR SOMEBODY THEY COULD LOVE.

[APPLAUSE]

OH, ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO,
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER

WHEN THE SPACE SHUTTLE
"CHALLENGER" EXPLODED

AND THE ASTRONAUTS DIED.

IT WAS SUCH A RESOUNDING SHOCK
THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.

AND I SAT AND THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

AND CAME UP WITH A POEM
TO COMMEMORATE THAT EVENT.

THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT I WROTE MYSELF.

AND, ACTUALLY,
I CAME UP WITH IT IN SIGNS

AND LATER WORKED
ON THE WORDS.

THIS IS CALLED "REFLECTION."

BUT IT COULD MEAN REFLECTING
ON SOMETHING, MULLING IT OVER.

IT COULD MEAN YOUR REFLECTION
IN A MIRROR.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. SMOKE.

AND THE LIFTOFF
OF THE "CHALLENGER" INSPIRED ME.

ONE MINUTE, 49 SECONDS, LATER,
EXPLOSION.

AND MY HEART HALTED.

THE MAIMED SHUTTLE DESCENDED,

AND WITH IT MY HEART.

IT DAWNED UPON ME--A FLASHBACK.

MEMORY: 1963,
PRESIDENT KENNEDY WAS SHOT,

HIS HEAD BLOWN TO BITS,
HIS BODY FALLING DOWNWARD

AND WITH IT MY TEARS.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

OH, JUST THIS LAST SPRING,
I WAS SO BUSY.

I WAS TEACHING SCHOOL CLASSES;
I WAS DOING MY CHURCH WORK.

IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THERE WERE
CALLS COMING FOR ME

FROM EVERY SIDE.

WELL, THIS ONE WOMAN NAMED
WENDY LOW--

SHE'S A TEACHER HERE AT NTID--
SHE APPROACHED ME AND SAID,

"PATRICK, WOULD YOU MIND COMING
OUT TO THE WOODS BACK THERE?"

THERE'S SOME WOODS OUT HERE IN
THE BACK OF THE COLLEGE UNION.

AND SHE SAID...
"COME OUT BEHIND THE ENCLAVE,

"WHERE THERE'S THE WOODS.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG POETRY
CONCLAVE OUT THERE."

THERE'S A BIG FIELD
AND A LOT OF WOODS.

AND SHE ASKED ME IF I'D MIND
GOING TO PARTICIPATE

WITH ALL THE STUDENTS TO SHOW
SOME POETRY

AND WORK ON SOMETHING

AND HAVE SORT OF
AN IMPROMPTU WORKSHOP.

SHE ASKED IF MAYBE I'D
BE WILLING TO SHOW

A LITTLE BIT OF MY POETRY.

"WELL," I THOUGHT, "OK, OK. UM,
I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT. I'LL SEE."

AND IT WAS REALLY WONDERFUL THAT
SHE TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER

AND ASKED ME TO DO THIS

BECAUSE IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT
A THING OR TWO.

AND THEN I CAME UP WITH THIS
OTHER POEM THAT I REALLY ENJOY.

AND IT REALLY SEEMS THAT I WRITE
POEMS BEST UNDER PRESSURE

AND WHEN I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS
BUGGING ME

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WANTING
TO MEET FOR DIFFERENT THINGS.

THIS IS CALLED
"THE DISTANT CALL."

THERE ARE THE WOODS.

I HAVE NOT WALKED
THERE YET. WHY?

THE CROWD WANTS MY ATTENTION.
THEY WANT MY SKILLS.

AT TIMES I SEEM TO BE A WHORE--

THE PLEASURE, POPULARITY,
AND ADULATION.

THE EGO SWELLS

UP TO THE NECK WITH ONUSES
AND PLANS AND SELF-ABUSE.

AH! THE SPOTLIGHTS ARE
TURNED ON.

THE CURTAIN OPENS.
THE SHOW IS ON.

THE AUDIENCE WANTS ENCORES.
I'M SO TIRED.

I WANT TO SCREAM.

THERE ARE THE WOODS.
THERE ARE TOO MANY CALLS.

ONE CALL BEYOND
CAPTURES MY EYES.

GOD HAS GIVEN ME FREEWILL.

YES, I FORGET THIS.

TOO MANY CALLS AGAIN. STOP.

THIS CHOICE I MAKE ALONE.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS THE LAST POEM
THAT I'LL DO.

AND I REALLY, REALLY LOVE IT.

I WISH I HAD SUCH A LONG,
VOLUMINOUS LIST OF POEMS TO DO.

I SEE THAT I HAVE COME UP WITH
A SMALL CANON OF MAYBE 4 OR 5.

AND TO COME UP WITH MORE,

I DON'T THINK I HAVE THAT
RIGHT NOW.

I SEEM TO HAVE A BLOCK,
BUT MAYBE LATER,

I'LL BE ADDING TO THAT.

WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL
FOR THE DEAF, I LEARNED ABOUT

VERY SHORT POEMS CALLED HAIKUS.

AND WHEN I WAS WITH NATIONAL
THEATRE OF THE DEAF,

WE LEARNED MORE HAIKU POETRY
AND PERFORMED SOME OF IT.

USUALLY, THEY ARE BRIEF POEMS
COMPOSED OF JUST THREE LINES

WITH JUST A FEW SYLLABLES,
AND THAT'S ALL.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS
REALLY INTERESTING.

AND I WONDERED IF I COULD,
PERHAPS, THINK OF SOMETHING

THAT WAS COMPLEMENTARY TO THIS,

SOMETHING JUST LIKE IT IN
SIGN LANGUAGE.

AND I CAME UP WITH A FEW OF
THOSE ON MY OWN.

THIS GROUPING OF FOUR HAIKUS
IS CALLED "MEMORIES."

NUMBER ONE.

EVERY SUNDAY, AHH,
THAT SMOKESTACK--RED BRICK.

KANSAS SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF.

[APPLAUSE]

NUMBER TWO.

CHEAP INSTITUTION COLORS.

PAINTS--EYESORE YELLOW,
PALE BLUE, SICKLY GREEN. BLECCH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NUMBER THREE.

"AGAIN? A SPEECH LESSON?
I TALKED IN SIGNS."

PUNISHMENT: MITTS TIED TOGETHER.

[APPLAUSE]

NUMBER FOUR.

MS. KILCOIN, MY TEACHER,
ALWAYS WADDLING IN, THE GROUCH.

"SHH! HA HA!" BULLDOG.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.

OK, LET'S GIVE A HAND.

LET'S GIVE A HAND TO PATRICK.

"This project is supported by a Digitizing Hidden Collections grant from the Council on Library and Information Resources (CLIR). The grant program is made possible by funding from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation."